It's. My. Life!

I finally got my butt into gear and made it to the Oncologist on Monday 21st January. The news. I’m clear of cancer. I have 10’s of cists I need to keep an eye on…. Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake… That day, hearing that I don’t have an imminent expiry date is the turn around. I just want to live while I'm alive!*

*Obviously Bon Jovi song influenced the above, I did go to the concert on that night

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A phone call in the afternoon made my stomach sink. It was one of my mum’s work colleagues, my mum was taken to the Emergency Room due to abnormalities with her heart.

Mum is okay; she was out of hospital later that night. A blood clot in the lung, she was on a drippy thing and has medication. Instructions were to watch her diet and exercise a little more.

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Not one of my friends enquired about my appointment on Monday. It’s not although my friends didn’t know. This is something that has been on my mind for months. A dark dark cloud hovering over my everyday actions, shadows behind my insincere smile.

I felt so alone. I still feel empty although I know I should be dancing and throwing my arms around with glee…

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* Post been sitting in drafts....

Valentines Day

The day most of the population despise... Valentines Day.

Last year I ended up spending the night home watching bad TV and that was the only option, this year a totally different story. My options were as follows:

- Nice boy invited me over to his place for dinner
- Sweet navy boy invited me over. Lets face it that invitation was just for sex
- RR, my lover boy asked if I wanted to 'catch up' and a subsequent message asking if dinner and drinks in the city was convenient

I had spent the entire day (up at the crack of dawn in fact) up at the Hunter Valley with my cousins and dad. We went to approximately 8 vineyards, sipped various wines and had a delicious lunch at Enzo's (?)

We were on a kinda tight schedule, I wanted to be back in Sydney to meet my boy for dinner.

I met my boy at Bungalow 8, he had a long stem rose for me and a glass of wine sitting on the table for my arrival. He looks good in a suit. He had made a booking at I.Thai, he recreated our first date... I stayed with him all night, even though it was a school night. I gave him his little pressie, he liked. I also drove him to work the next morning.

The best Valentine's day / night I have in memory.

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is medium.In general, you prefer to have only one love interest. But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long! There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering. Experience Level: Your experience level is high. You've loved, lost, and loved again. You have had a wide range of love experiences. And when the real thing comes along, you know it! Dominance: Your dominance is low. This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced. You know a relationship is not about getting your way. And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom. Cynicism: Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is high. You don't need to be in love, and sometimes you don't even want love. Having your own life is very important for you... Even more important than having a relationship.

The Five Variable Love Test

That love test was a crock of shit!

The Highlights Didn't Stop!

+ Friday afternoon at a minute to 5 (damn early for me) I hopped, skipped and jumped into my car and drove the 3 - 4 minutes to my dad's place with much excitement.

As soon as I walked through the door Aranka and Michal gave me the biggest hug ever and we were all a bit teary eyed... I know it has been 2 and a half years, it feels like the longest time since we had seen each other on the same token it felt like we picked up where we left off.

Dinner was local at a little Japanese place where we shared many dishes and drank a few bottles of wine. Tried Green Tea Tiramisu (because we couldn't comprehend the green tea aspect of a chocolaty, coffee dessert - it was surprisingly good) My cousin and her husband were so surprised that us Aussie's can BYO grog into restaurants - I'd never thought of it before.

Due to the 40 hours of travelling for my cousins and my 'almost 55 hours' of working week we made it an early one to get a great energetic start to the next day.

+ Saturday I put on much more makeup than usual, in a subtle way of course... Michal is a happy snappy tourist here - its great for the memories, but I hate my photo being taken! I feel that my smile looks fake and I hate the contortionists positions to avoid my tummy sticking out of its hiding place.

+ Saturday 'meet my mum' day, we went to my old 'hood Bronte Beach for lunch at Swell - as it was the perfect weather for it, grey clouds, pouring rain, gusty wind and 21 degrees in summer! Lunch went swimmingly (we didn't) mother was on her best behaviour, we had delicious food shared a bottle of Australian wine and we didn't share our dessert, mum wouldn't have it that way.

+ That night I was supposed to go take the gang to see 2 Days in Paris at North Sydney Oval, once again the weather impeded my plans. My boy, my cousins and 2 of my greatest friends had a backup plan, dinner at New Orleans Cafe, I thought it would be the best plans with a live band playing in the background. Nup, no band for the night. I picked up my boy on the way through, a huge tightest of tight hug...

Dinner went as expected with the group of people in attendance. 2 of my girlfriends that direct their attention to any man thats in the proximity and dismissing all the other girls (in other words, D & L were competing for the attention of my boy and my cousins husband even though L is married and they both know my affections toward RR).

The biggest announcement for the night was L. is pregnant!

+ After dinner and a few drinks at a near by hotel (the venue I met my lover boy) I spent the rest of the night in his arms, snuggled and content.... After 6 weeks of his absence the little spark is still there. I'm happy.

+ Sunday we went into Chinatown for the New Year celebrations, I thought the parade commenced at 1pm, I was wrong. It started at 11. We got in a little early (in anticipation for a 1pm kickoff) and caught the tail end of the celebrations.

We spent a couple hours in the Chinese Gardens and Darling Harbour, the first time I've ever been there. We took many photos, drank Chinese tea for hours and caught up on the 2 and a half years past... That night we had a great dinner cooked by my dad which provided for dinner the next 2 nights while my cousins were in Canberra

Unstoppable Imagination on a Brilliant Day

The much anticipated day has come. My cousin and her husband arrived in Sydney at 8 this morning! I've been looking forward to this day ever since we said our farewells in May 2005... This is her first trip to Australia, my father and I have arranged a few specialities for their holiday. Dad is sending them to Melbourne for 3 days and I'm taking then to the Hunter Valley and going for a trip to climb the Harbour Bridge.

I didn't attend the airport this morning however much I wanted to. I've requested a few days off and I guess they would've been a little jet lagged and the only desire would be to settle in at dad's place and have a shower. I'll be going to dad's directly after work for dinner.

Only a few minutes ago my little phone sang its tune and RR! He got back from his south American expedition today. Smiling form ear to ear! After my attempt at witty reply and altogether trying not to sound overly excited my imagination ran wild.

... I went to the airport this morning to meet see my cousin who I haven't seen in 2 and a half years, it was me and my dad, we parked the car in the overpriced car park, walked over to the arrivals gates, past the Krispy Kreame donut stand each having an internal debate whether or not to purchase one then eagerly perused the arrivals board for their flight information.

It was determined that we have good time and waited at the gate for them to come through customs, this is when I see a familiar face, RR walks through the sliding door, he sees me a smile riddled with surprise and a devastating hint of horror... My excitement is still overwhelming as my cousins are about to walk out, RR is anxious I don't see it nor think anything of it and introduce him to my dad!

My cousin emerges from the door, I squeal with excitement, RR would realize at that precise moment it was just serendipitous timing and he scores getting a lift home with us - and I get a kiss that knocks me off my feet...

I'm looking forward to seeing my cousin, her husband and RR so much I'm whilling the minutes to speed by. Happy weekend everyone!!!

Chinese New Year

I had the absolute pleasure of joining Cibby and Rebecca welcoming the Chinese new year....

Many authentic Chinese dishes beautifully prepared by Bec's mum, toxic Chinese alcohol and later complemented by an interesting variety of tea - Bec performed a traditional (I think) tea ceremony and the night continued drinking tea and chatting.

It was a lovely night.

Happy New Year!