It Was A Good Idea At The Time

I'm all packed, I actually did my packing in conjunction with cleaning out my wardrobe. It was a really good feeling to know when I come home I will have only what I want to have and only what I feel good in in my wardrobe.

When...

Further to my last post... I've made several lists of things to do and things not to do when ever a milestone occurs, the new years resolution, next financial year, after my birthday, this time it will be when I get back from my holiday. Number one of course will be to actually do the things on my list.

When I get back from my 4 week European extravaganza I will make a concentrated effort to save for a house deposit. I will cease seeing inappropriate men. I will maintain a better diet. I will re-enroll in fencing lessons. I will be more responsive when it comes to communication with friends. I will endeavour to have some sort of relationship with my sister.

I will do it. I must have more control over my actions and future.

Home Situation

My flat mate told me today. Today. That his girlfriend is going to move in in October. Great. A day before I go away... Something I really didn't want to have to think about when I was on holidays.

Lessons Learnt

I'm very familiar the the little nugget 'learn from your mistakes', I've been assessing and reflecting my actions of late and have come to the conclusion that I do do learn from my mistakes, that is recognising these mistakes, this assessment determined that my actions have not altered; there is a situation, an option presented to me and I'm aware these actions would be a mistake, however, I continue. Once it is over, instantaneously I am overwhelmed with regret.

Is it that I have just learnt to recognise the mistake, prepare for the immanent disappointment that follows and manage my expectations? When does the lesson take affect in my life where I will stop, where I will say to myself 'no, this is a mistake' and walk away knowing there won't be the feeling of self despair...?