Happy Valentine's Day

Every February, across almost every country, chocolates, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St Valentine.

Who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine's Day is shrouded in mystery.

Contradictions in this post

It's said to be the month of romance but we only get a day, my cynical opinionated self would usually say Valentine's Day is just some commercial hoopla introduced by hallmark, but today I'm slightly melancholy about flying solo. My second consecutive year as a single girl on Valentine's Day, I've been single for 1 year and half a month (but who's counting).

I have received phone call with "I love you" so far, from a good friend and said I love you to one of my wonderful beautiful friends. It's so nice to hear those 3 little words.

My bitterness about not having a loved one has only reared its ugly head a few times over the last year.

- The first was when I went to the art gallery and walked around the botanical gardens on my week off work before going overseas. I cherished the experience, I love being absorbed in the art, I love doing it alone in my own time. I love it so much I wish to share the experience with someone close, someone I love.

- My heart was lonely while I was at my cousins wedding in Czech Republic. I know it was a wedding the celebration of love, I believe its better to be in love yourself. The experience was hard for me as my comprehension of the Czech language is limited (dismal) and only 4 people could speak English. I felt so alone.

- A big night out with Julia a few months back, we went to the Hilton Hotel opening party, all dressed up, in super spirits, there wasn't even a smile from a man to either of us, not an offer of a drink, not even a sleazy "Do you come here often?" (it was afterall the opening). After a couple glasses of red a couple of non-return text messages from men neither of us were interested, we felt low, self esteem hit the floor. We swore we would never let an experience get to us like that again.

Every Valentine's Day I can remember I have had lunch with my dad. I love it. I really do enjoy the daddy / daughter bond we have. We play it up
of course. We walk arm in arm and constantly laugh at peoples expressions - Dad enjoys it of course, a little play to his ego that "his girlfriend" is young enough to be his daughter. Not this year unfortunately, the distance is just a little too far with the new job for an hour lunch.

The all important questions: Do I want to meet a man? Do I want a relationship? I want to feel a mans touch on my skin. I want to be loved. However much I rant that Valentine's is such a commercial prank I do want to receive a rose, a chocolate, I want that feeling of being desired by another person.

Is it just that Valentine's / love is on my mind... I know if I wanted a relationship I would be in one, I've been the one that ended my 3 long term relationships.

My initial plans for tonight were to go out with my very few single girlfriends and have a beautiful dinner with "our loves". Yesterday I received a phone call from a "happily in love" friend who's partners business associate is here from Hong Kong and been invited to join them for dinner at Bondi Icebergs. Effectively I have agreed to my first blind date ever on Valentine's Day.

What do I wear???