Heroin chic minus the drugs, I feel deflated, I hardly wanted to get out of bed. I walked to my car in the rain, my hair is all stringy, I’ve cried already today so my eyes are puffy, mascara running and I decided to wear flat shoes because I just don’t think I could walk in 4” heels today.
The first words spoken to me this morning is “don’t forget to call the hospital, you’ll have to be there at least an hour before the appointment” FUCK OFF! I know this, I wish she would stop telling me what to do, just because she works in a hospital doesn’t mean she should talk to me in such a derogatory manner, yea, she is my mum.
Some fuckwit wouldn’t let me into the traffic today, usually I just pity them, its one car coming out of a small cul-de-sec – I’m not going to hold you up. I yell at the top of my lungs “You fucking cunt” and realise its now my problem.
I’ve been at work 10minutes and can’t concentrate further than making my desk tidy. I have so much to do before taking 3 days off to recover.
J. isn’t at work today, so the only person I can and want to talk to (over google talk) isn’t there, I’m “busy” as far as messenger is concerned, it is going to stay that way all day.
I’m not looking forward to tonight, mother dearest is going to try to “prepare” me for the morning to come, no matter how much I try to explain to her its not helping she just continues with the “be strong” bullshit. I don’t think she really understands, (well she doesn’t understand me at all) I would rather slay 200 people in cold blood than go under the knife tomorrow.
Great… The TAB guy just called and said he wants to take me out for lunch today, how can I explain to a guy that I don’t know all that well that I’m just not in the right frame of mind to be social and honestly, I look like shit today.
The first words spoken to me this morning is “don’t forget to call the hospital, you’ll have to be there at least an hour before the appointment” FUCK OFF! I know this, I wish she would stop telling me what to do, just because she works in a hospital doesn’t mean she should talk to me in such a derogatory manner, yea, she is my mum.
Some fuckwit wouldn’t let me into the traffic today, usually I just pity them, its one car coming out of a small cul-de-sec – I’m not going to hold you up. I yell at the top of my lungs “You fucking cunt” and realise its now my problem.
I’ve been at work 10minutes and can’t concentrate further than making my desk tidy. I have so much to do before taking 3 days off to recover.
J. isn’t at work today, so the only person I can and want to talk to (over google talk) isn’t there, I’m “busy” as far as messenger is concerned, it is going to stay that way all day.
I’m not looking forward to tonight, mother dearest is going to try to “prepare” me for the morning to come, no matter how much I try to explain to her its not helping she just continues with the “be strong” bullshit. I don’t think she really understands, (well she doesn’t understand me at all) I would rather slay 200 people in cold blood than go under the knife tomorrow.
Great… The TAB guy just called and said he wants to take me out for lunch today, how can I explain to a guy that I don’t know all that well that I’m just not in the right frame of mind to be social and honestly, I look like shit today.
4 comments:
If you know you do want to see TAB guy, but not today...just be honest, tell him that your mind is elsewhere that you are being anti-social today, and then make a firm plan to see him so he knows you really do like him and aren't brushing him off.
Actually, I don't really want to see the guy, but he has turned up at my place in the middle of night uninvited, it kinda scared me. I'm thinking i'm dealing with a minor psyco here.
I'll be posting shortly about post-surgery - 'twas nothing. Simple procedure done particularly well, by an expert surgeon.
You'll be fine, the nurse even held my hand when the doc was injecting the local anaesthetic into my face - meh, no big deal, didn't even flinch.
TAB guy - if he keeps that up, get an AVO on his ass.
Just passing through, I'm digging the blog by the way.
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