I have been preparing myself for this moment since I heard the news. I saw him approaching, my stomach flipped, I felt the tension behind my eyes, my mouth was dry.
Why do I put myself into this situation, I know he has a power over me, he intoxicates me… He crosses the road moves closely to me and kisses me on the cheek awkwardly; he’s never awkward always in control. I smile meekly and take the smallest step back; his presence makes my body melt.
I hand him my keys and wait a moment while he disappears inside, a few deep breathes subtly in case he sees my weakness. He returns and nods, he almost took my hand to cross the road, he smiles to himself and I know that look, his look...
I maneuver gracefully into his car making sure my knee length skirt isn’t revealing my covered legs, he tells me ‘you look good, I like your stockings with the boots and your cute leather gloves’ he touches the soft kid leather, my eyes follow his lingering touch. My heart breaks as the sun glistens on his wedding band.
He tells me he wishes he had more time to talk to me… I say with all my might in candor, ‘yes so do I, I’d like to know… How’s married life?’ It kills me to mutter the word ‘married’.
He pulls into the parking area adjacent to the station and turns the ignition off, we gaze at each other, he asks me what I’m thinking… I want your moist lips on mine, to feel your warm breath on my neck, the brush of your hand on my bare skin. I say ‘nothing’. He leans over and gives me a kiss on the lips, small, shallow like you would give a sibling. I raise my hand to the door handle, he shifts in his seat and tells me my new hair cut is beautiful. I say thank you is almost a whisper, lengthen my hand and gentle ran my leather clad fingers down the side of his face, I paused before leaning into him, I kissed him goodbye.
As I slid out of the car, I was silently triumphant. I could be in his presence without being totally consumed by his power over me. I sighed as I crossed the path slowly moving away from him, to still be in love with this man, now a married man…
Why do I put myself into this situation, I know he has a power over me, he intoxicates me… He crosses the road moves closely to me and kisses me on the cheek awkwardly; he’s never awkward always in control. I smile meekly and take the smallest step back; his presence makes my body melt.
I hand him my keys and wait a moment while he disappears inside, a few deep breathes subtly in case he sees my weakness. He returns and nods, he almost took my hand to cross the road, he smiles to himself and I know that look, his look...
I maneuver gracefully into his car making sure my knee length skirt isn’t revealing my covered legs, he tells me ‘you look good, I like your stockings with the boots and your cute leather gloves’ he touches the soft kid leather, my eyes follow his lingering touch. My heart breaks as the sun glistens on his wedding band.
He tells me he wishes he had more time to talk to me… I say with all my might in candor, ‘yes so do I, I’d like to know… How’s married life?’ It kills me to mutter the word ‘married’.
He pulls into the parking area adjacent to the station and turns the ignition off, we gaze at each other, he asks me what I’m thinking… I want your moist lips on mine, to feel your warm breath on my neck, the brush of your hand on my bare skin. I say ‘nothing’. He leans over and gives me a kiss on the lips, small, shallow like you would give a sibling. I raise my hand to the door handle, he shifts in his seat and tells me my new hair cut is beautiful. I say thank you is almost a whisper, lengthen my hand and gentle ran my leather clad fingers down the side of his face, I paused before leaning into him, I kissed him goodbye.
As I slid out of the car, I was silently triumphant. I could be in his presence without being totally consumed by his power over me. I sighed as I crossed the path slowly moving away from him, to still be in love with this man, now a married man…
13 comments:
You have gloves made out of kids?
Now I know what happened to all the naughty children...
I'm sorry to hear it...
There is nothing to say beyond that.
Great story, bask in your triumph and never see him again....
PS: I have never kissed a sibling on the lips
Cam, no butt when they come on the market i'll be first in line ;-)
Stormin' thanks babe
Wal, imagine kissing me or Vik - same thing.
Ah, Miss Natalie. Love can be so unfair. But good on you for sticking to your guns.
Nat, do I really need to tell you that I have imagined exactly that....
Makes me a little sad that the relationship ended in the beginning, but it is not to be..he is taken :(
Very sad to hear that Nat..
Natalie, there's some nice imagery here for what is essentially a very sad, bittersweet scene. I've been in the same scene myself. I know how it hurts...
Rosana, as they say, all is fair in love and war...
Wal... I didn't really expect that one ;-)
Cazzie!!! It was a destructive relationship, the highs were really high but the lows were the lowest of my life. it had to end.
Jewel, thanks mwah!
G_Boy, a compliment on imagery coming from you to me... I'm flattered. It's so very cliche, love does hurt - i want nice love next.
He sounds completely not worthy of you or his wife. I wish I could tell you to cut the love part that loves him out and throw it in the bin - but I know how these things like this wrap their way around you and strangle.
Mez, wouldn't life be so much easier if there was a 'procedure' like that.. Ohhh that movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - but, look how that turned out (I know its fiction)
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