After many appointments to try and establish what this damn lump is, it was my ultra-sound deep core biopsy appointment yesterday.... It sounds horrible. I was there with my mum to hold my hand - I freaked! I starting crying hysterically. My breathing was faster than I've ever known. I started seeing little white dots before me. I couldn't go through with it.
The technician sent me up to see "the specialist". He had been notified of my anxiety attack. When I walked in the good doctor pointed to me and instructed me to SIT! I felt like a 6 year old who has just disappointed her teacher. My fear of needles has been prevalent since I can remember kicking my doctor when he was going a tetanus shot when I was knee high to a grasshopper. I now have nightmares so similar to Mia Wallace in Pulp Fiction.
We discussed my options:
1. Go back and try again (no)
2. Wait until January and have it removed (yes)
I will go under the knife in January and basically skip the biopsy step, I will be knocked out and not have to see the needle and another bonus in this process I will save $280.
My mother told me "now I have something else to worry about, I'll probably have a heart attack, you have to do it". On the way home my mother didn't talk to me.
The silence was deafening...
The technician sent me up to see "the specialist". He had been notified of my anxiety attack. When I walked in the good doctor pointed to me and instructed me to SIT! I felt like a 6 year old who has just disappointed her teacher. My fear of needles has been prevalent since I can remember kicking my doctor when he was going a tetanus shot when I was knee high to a grasshopper. I now have nightmares so similar to Mia Wallace in Pulp Fiction.
We discussed my options:
1. Go back and try again (no)
2. Wait until January and have it removed (yes)
I will go under the knife in January and basically skip the biopsy step, I will be knocked out and not have to see the needle and another bonus in this process I will save $280.
My mother told me "now I have something else to worry about, I'll probably have a heart attack, you have to do it". On the way home my mother didn't talk to me.
The silence was deafening...
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