It had been a secret, it was a very well kept secret. It was to prevent me from knowing the truth... To protect my heart and my memories of love. What I regarded as real love.
My ex-boyfriend D and I broke up 2.5 years into our relationship, during that 'break' I knew he started seeing someone. I thought it was some random skanky slut. It made me feel better in saying that.
During 3 months of our break he spoke to each other regularly and I sincerely missed him, he said the same. I felt empty and lost without him.
Our split was temporary, maximum of 4 months and the moment we back together we started talking marriage and before long we were looking at purchasing a property together, a place that would be our home.
Our relationship carried on for over a year with his insistent questioning of my fidelity, it finally feel apart when his accusations of me seeing someone brought me to tears, brought him to raising his hand to me, forced me to seek assistance from the police and finally I ended it...
Only a few weeks ago (I have started writing this post over and over) I found out the girl he was seeing was someone I had met many times while we were dating, she is the sister of E, his best friends girlfriend.
Since mine and E's relationship with respective boyfriends dissolved our friendship grew, we had both been through destructive relationships and came out weaker than anyone could imagine and slowly triumphed at the realisation that our actions were necessary and most importantly the best for our wellbeing.
Over a few glasses of wine a few weeks ago L and I finally spoke about it.
They were seeing each other for 6 - 7 months.
She met his family early on (I was kept a secret for almost a year).
She thought it was over between me and D.
I apologised for all the horrible things I said about her. Of course I didn't know it was her.
I was destroyed again. Felt totally deflated. The man I was planning to marry, the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with cheated on me for months, he accused me of the action he himself was doing.
He punished me for his own actions.
I didn't think it ever possible. I now hate this man.
14 years ago
1 comments:
In the words of The Arctic Monkeys, what a scummy man. His outrageous behaviour in accusing you and even threatening you with violence were all projections of his own tawdry guilt. I hope that you will be able to find a decent bloke who will be more deserving of your love, and I'm sure that you will.
~hugs~
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