Man Trends

My 3 long term relationships were with tradies, I’ve always a weakness for the trades, the rugged handsomeness, I love the unbelievable transformation when the sweat has been washed away and there stands before me a gorgeous man dressed in a Hugo Boss suit…

Last year was the year for the 2 professional athletes.

This year looks to be the year for musicians, the violinist (that didn’t call) a couple months ago and now the drummer from Friday night…

Turandot

Please press play while reading this post.

The première of Turandot was at La Scala, Milan, on Sunday April 25, 1926, 1 year and 5 months after Puccini's death. I'm happy to report I saw the most elequently executed version on Friday night.

We had the BEST seats! Second row, just left from centre, I took L with me, as a birthday present. Reciprocal performances we have decided for each others birthday presents, she was the one that took me to see STOMP (the second time).

Any prince seeking to marry Princess Turandot must answer 3 riddles - and if he fails, he will die.

Puccini is one of my top 3 favourite composers and this production did not dissapoint. If there is anyone tossing up seeing their first Opera I’d highly recommend Turondat, the production was fantastic, brought a tear to my eye, a flush of passion and goose bumps… Beautiful.

praying that love will conquer her icy heart

What is born each night and dies each dawn?

What flickers red and warm like a flame, yet is not fire?

What is like ice but burns like fire?

The Best News!

My 10 year old nephew is recovering well, last night he was able to move the toes on his right foot for the first time ever!

Trivia Night Tonight? Anyone?

Last week I was so proud of making it to trivia 2 consecutive weeks, we made the deal, trivia weekly, stimulate our brains outside our daily dutiful wheeling and dealing…

Well, that’s it. This is as far as it goes, no more meat tray’s/chicken tray’s, no more $7 buffet meals, no more $13 bottles of wine. 2 weeks. That’s the best my friends and I can do.

The BIGGEST Thank You!!!

I take this opportunity to thank the incomparable computer wiz Reverend Tim for assisting me with my template I’m now readable in both IE and FireFox! Wombat, Cibby and ChickyBabe can come back and play!

Shazam! Kabang! Kapow!

I had another sleepless night, plagued by the same thoughts as last week with the addition of new porn issues (see below post), then it hit me, the reason I was feeling so low over the weekend was more than likely due to concerns of my mothers health. Why is it these revelations always come 3 days after the fact?

Much Needed Eye Candy

Michael Ballack...

Bits and Peices no.7

+ My Costanzanisms this week… Has been led to Will and Grace, I was told by my ‘friends’ that I’m like Karen, possible drinking problem and I made a remark in respect to my weakness for ‘the help’ what? I thought the waiters were cute! That was meant as a nice thing, what's going on there!?

+ It is going to be in a Surry Hills hostel! Great, walking the same streets as me during my working week!

+ My work colleague and I were talking about the delightful milkshakes from Mickey’s in Paddington and next thing you know Hey Mickey – B*Witched comes on the radio.

+ This is my idea of porn!

+ I tried on my beautiful Alberta Ferretti dress thinking it could be an option to wear to L's wedding in a month’s time. I can only JUST do it up! Sucking in my breath and struggling... The side panels puff out and look like wings...

*tears*

I have 2 choices, sell it and find something else or go on a diet of celery and water for 4 weeks.

Hmmm getting off my fat arse to do some exercise didn't really enter my mind.

+ I spent most of my morning at the nuclear diagnostic clinic with my mother. Towards the end of her tests she advised me that she hadn’t told my sister that she was going in for tests or what’s been happening with her heart.

+ I wear novelty socks under my 4” high heeled knee high boots.

+ Dancing around the office to:
Ø Just Can’t get Enough – Depeche Mode
Ø Let’s Groove – Earth, Wind and Fire
Ø This will be (an everlasting love) – Natalie Cole
Ø White Wedding – Billy Idol

+ Left field conversations:
Ø Me: ‘Do you think *insert name* has same sex tendencies?’ Mr: ‘no he is married with kids’ Me: so? You should’ve seen the expression!
Ø You’ve never had ‘pink eye’? Ahhh no.
Ø Which cartoon character would you sleep with?
Ø Some email addresses that come on resumes amaze me. ‘sexy’ ‘69’ etc

Trivia – Week 2

I’m very proud of me, I said I would commence a tradition with my girlfriend to attend trivia each week and we did. I know it’s only the second week, but we did good (we usually have all these great ideas and aspirations that never come to fruition – what happened to Bridge lessons?)

This week there were 5. J, V, M joined us last minute and I had a friend from inter-state that was in Sydney for the night and you would probably all know by now that I never cancel plans with my friends (unless it’s work or free tickets to a play, opera etc) a sign of a sour past relationship? Yes. What do I do instead? Invite the guy along. Poor thing, knowing he would be subject to 3 of my friends judging every gesture and word (we all judge, don’t try telling me otherwise).

I WON A CHICKEN TRAY! I would’ve preferred the meat tray, mainly because I think it just rolls off the tongue slightly easier than chicken tray. Ohhh how I love RSL raffles! The buffet didn’t disappoint once again but unfortunately this week they didn’t have Pavlova – I hear you saying ‘what an RSL club not having Pavlova, that’s a travesty to the Aussie R-ey traditions’

As per usual, my insecurities emerge from deep below, a man being introduced to my friends and the thoughts cross my mind that he would be thinking ‘how can I make the swap?’ (I do love my friends, highest regard ever!) I’m happy to say I shook that thought out of my mind as quickly as it came…

We didn’t win the paper airplane competition even though we googled instructions. Cheat! Us? Never.

Hopefully there will be a week 3 edition to trivia, a meat tray to be carried off over our shoulders and Marto will be commentating again… Deal girls?

How My Brain Works

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain (32%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain. Left Brain (54%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain

Are You Right or Left Brained?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Left brain dominant individuals are more orderly, literal, articulate, and to the point. They are good at understanding directions and anything that is explicit and logical. They can have trouble comprehending emotions and abstract concepts, they can feel lost when things are not clear, doubting anything that is not stated and proven.

Right brain dominant individuals are more visual and intuitive. They are better at summarizing multiple points, picking up on what's not said, visualizing things, and making things up. They can lack attention to detail, directness, organization, and the ability to explain their ideas verbally, leaving them unable to communicate effectively.

Overall you appear to be Left Brain Dominant

According to Darwinian theory, optimal evolution takes place with random variation and selective retention. The evolution savvy individual will try many different approaches when faced with a problem and select the best of those approaches. Many historical intellectuals have confessed their advantage was simply considering/exploring/trying more approaches than others. The left brain dominant type suffers from limited approaches, narrow-mindedness. The right brain dominant type suffers from too many approaches, scatterbrained. To maintain balanced hemispheres, you need to exercise both variability and selection. Just as a company will have more chance of finding a great candidate by increasing their applicant pool, an individual who considers a wider set of options is more likely to make quality decisions.

Bits and Pieces Issue 6

• Costanzanisms of the week… I wanted to SLAM down my mobile phone, it’s really not the same when you are trying to press the little hang up button on the mobile!
• Turducken and what else can we insert?
• I’m a flasher not a beeper
• I find this hilarious
• I drink ‘room temperature’ water, I don’t like chilled
• I play a sick solo betting game – I look at the women walking around my local working area and bet whether or not she will walk into one of the local bordellos.
• This is gold

Dancing around the office to:
 Cup of Life – Ricky Martin
 Self Esteem – The Offspring (jumping and screaming out the lyrics)
 Cream – Prince
 Total Eclipse of the Heart – Bonnie Tyler

Left field conversations:
 How many toes does a monster have???
 I was asked ‘what traditions are in an Aussie Wedding?’ My reply ‘Oh, the only difference is the vows: “Does this bloke take this shelia?”’
 Why is the footy players name ‘Thaiday’ pronounced ‘Thigh a day’ and not “Thai Day”???

Random Quote

Being ‘on hold’ for several minutes listening to the loop, ‘thank you for your patience, your call is important to us’

At the end of my tether, I yell out to anyone that will listen.

‘This woman is being presumptuous; she’s thanking me for my patience’

Can't Write

Due to Wombats post.

Thoughts on a Sleepless Night

I was tired, really tired. I’m starring at the corner of the ceiling at 3.32am I choose that corner as it is the only portion of the room that has a bit of light, my eyes are drawn to it.

My mind was racing, bouncing around incomplete memories, incomplete ambitions, incomplete strategies, incomplete motivation, preposterous scenarios …

+ It’s not that bad having a stalker, he put money in the parking meter for me so I wouldn’t get booked. Stop thinking that it's creepy he was around and recognises my car and waited till I got back to tell me he put in extra money.

+ Focus, you’re not where you should be, you have to start…

+ Why am I looking at the only light in the room is that supposed to be symbolic?

+ I’m so happy I got to watch the repeat of Getaway, I really have to save to get to Peru do the Choquequirao trek and Machu Picchu next year, how am I going to buy a place in the next few months and still get to South America... Focus, you’re not where you should be, you have to start…

+ Start planning Peru. If I start planning and booking, I will have to save and stick to my budget. Okay, meet Cecilita in Florida, go to Mexico with her and Peggy, fly to Peru, stay with Cecilita and Margaret. Rodrigo said he will come with me; factor in Chile, Chile with him first? He wants to go to Mexico and Brazil, I want to go to Brazil.. This is going to be expensive… I need to do something, must focus…
+ I think so little about some of the men I meet. Wow! There are men out there that think that little about me…

+ Why is it I really don’t want to be in a relationship at the moment? N, you’re not where you should be, you have to start… Focus. Then it will happen, it will all happen.

I willed myself back to sleep, it was a struggle...

My thoughts plague me all day today, I want to be alone, gather my thoughts, gain some direction. I feel like crying, but I won’t let myself shed a tear for my own incompetence in non achievement.

Tomorrow will be another day, but I have another night of tossing and turning to get though.

The Quintessential Aussie Night Out

Triva night at the local R-ey (RSL) hosted by Marto from Nova 96.9, I was signed in by an old high school teacher, we made our way through the club there were various meat trays spread across the stage in the main bistro hall.

There we were standing in the line to collect our $7 roast/chicken schnitzel commenting that this is ‘so us’ where really it is so far from us it is just perfection…

We had our meat tray raffle tickets in hand eating our dinner drinking our $13 bottle of red, trading our orange vegies (my pumpkin for her carrots), playing scenarios of trading sausages for chops in the car park at the end of the night. A look into the future, in 40 years we will most likely be doing the same thing!

Love trivia nights, we have decided it will be a new Thursday night tradition, we will use our alcohol soaked brains at least once a week. Oh, and the best part, our ‘team name’ was It puts the lotion on its skin and we had chicken today we are googling the best aerodynamic paper air planes!

What Next...?

There are some sick puppies out there!

Go Speed Racer Go!

I received a little surprise package in the mail a couple days ago, a CD with wait for it… The ‘Speed Racer’ song.

*insert dreamy flashback music*

This song took me back to my raver days, we were about 15 years old.

I’ll paint the scene. I’m wearing a little teeny weeny tight t-shirt with ‘iron on’ transfer of a donkey, little skirt and my converse shoes, navy blue with the star coloured in with gold glitter. I had 3 or 4 little stickers on my face near my right eye and my hair was in 2 pony tails, one tied by little pink bears the other with ice creams. Julia was wearing her astro boy t-shirt, blue shiny flared pants, vans - they were purple metallic with a carrot on the tongue, a couple of little red heart stickers near her eye and the cutest little hair clips.

There we were all dressed up to go to the rave, smurf village I think? We had told our mothers we were ‘sleeping over’ at each others houses, as you do at that age so we had the entire night, we hop onto the train all the way to industrial Ingleburn for the Alby Mangle Adventure to find the big tent to dance, well jump the night away. I only vaguely remember traipsing, skipping and laughing over the hillsides at sunrise to jump back on the long train ride home…

*insert dreamy back to current day music*

Those were the days…

I decided to play my new CD on the way to work this morning, I took an alternate route I drove along the southern side of Centennial Park speeding around the bends (like I really need encouragement) singing along and reminiscing my adolescents.

Here he comes, here comes speed racer, he’s a demon on wheels (dododododo) Go speed racer! Go speed racer! Go speed racer! Goooo!

My Childhood

I miss....

Snapple

Polly waffles

Iced Vovo’s

Muncheros – the song went to Guantanamera

Tell me what you miss

What Does It Take?

+ It takes several cocktails and a board game to make your girlfriends hysterically laugh so much your stomach hurts

+ It took one too many cocktails, a phone call, a text and dozing on the lounge to bring a friend to tears

+ It took a lap dance from one of the girls to cheer us all up (and how she is able to hold a champagne glass between her breasts, we will never know)

+ One small text message from a man saying he wants to take me somewhere I’ve only mentioned once to make me smile

+ It took only a moment where my friend took down her barriers and spoke openly about her issues

+ If takes one person to say ‘lets treat ourselves to a nice lunch at Nove’’ and I really enjoyed her company

+ It took a couple of words for me to shift uncomfortably in my chair over lunch ‘I’m not having a wedding cake’ and me being me, telling her she must, she has no interest, I offer to organise it for her

+ It took a loud squeal and the longest hug to make my world feel balanced again when Julia came back home

+ It took a few words from a so called friend to make me momentarily question my self worth

+ Lunch at Darbar for a friends birthday, the cool kids birthday, I was invited with only 5 other friends and his family made me feel all warm and fuzzy

+ It took a few drinks for me to play pool with a few of the guys at The Ancient Briton and I’m so happy the cool kids girlfriend is as bad a player as me

+ There was only 10 minutes of packing my few possessions from Julia’s place and realising that was the end of having alone time for a while

+ It took much convincing for me to accept a beautiful dress as a thank you for looking after her affairs while she was away

+ It took 45 minutes of being back home before I punched the wall in frustration with my mothers attitude, typing is now uncomfortable and mouse clicking hurts

+ It took 3 hits of the snooze button to get me out of bed to watch the World Cup final and only 30 second to convince myself ‘ill close my eyes for a moment’ and slept through the entire game

+ It took only 15 minutes at the office to make me feel uncomfortable as my colleague is again having attitude towards everyone

+ It’s the first day of being back home and working regularly again and I’m dreading every coming hour… No end point

My Secret Weakness…

Accents!

I love accents, I love European accents specifically. For some reason I find a man with an accent is so much sexier than your average hum drum Aussie tang.

I usually squeal ‘HOW CUTE!’ with broken English when I read it. Please not to be mistaken with a bad command of the English language, it’s the simple differences in structuring sentences in other languages…

I received this:

‘As per the phone talks I am sending this email’ …. ‘could you please do the needful at the earliest.’

I just find it adorable!

From my Czech cousin Petr:

‘I hope all your wish starting be a truth.’

So CUTE!

I have one text message that I’ve held on to for over a year, the guy I met in Monaco A.K.A. my holiday romance, the man that brought an English/French dictionary on our date. He wrote:

‘Kiss. I hope too a last time until. Kisses again’

My accent? I’ve been asked on many occasions ‘where are you from?’ my head boggles at this one. Born and raised here, Sydney that is. I’m asked if I’m American? English? I don’t comprehend it. Just because I annunciate my ‘R’s’ and articulate my ‘T’s’ doesn’t mean I’m not a true blue Aussie sheila!

Some accents just grate on my nerves. I would rather stick bamboo under my finger nails than be subjected to Sud Efriken's (South African) and I have a hard time dissevering the Scots, Irish and Welsh even more so after they have downed a few beers and don’t get me started on Kiwi’s!

The Decider

Last night I met my dad to watch the State of Origin decider with 2 of my girlfriends, he considered himself one lucky man to be having dinner with 3 young sheila's (dad does say sheila's, it's hilarious with his thick Czech accent).

Downing a bottle or 2 of red and enjoying my locals sensational $6 steak before kick off, great conversation and wow the eye candy at my local is improving, but no hands on for me, I like my home away from home to be without another landmine.

Let the games begin, highly anticipated footy game, in Melbourne *scratching head* to decide the fairer state, not much is better than that (in league). I couldn't pick a dominating side, the boys all looked tired, the hit ups weren't as hard, the plays almost as sloppy as the Roosters of late (I'm a Roosters fan, I'm allowed to say it).

Goethe's run was awesome the pub irrupted in cheer, blue balloons bouncing along the ceiling, NSW was in, play enhanced and we loved it. When QLD made the try there were just too many people cheering around us. Why were there so many QLD supporters? No! Loosing by a couple of missed tackles, many bad calls (okay one was in our favor) and not enough oomph in their game was disappointing.

The game would've been more enjoyable without the boys running loud commentary behind me, the incessant loud clapping right near my ear and the group of scum people next to me continually placing their empty glasses on our table.

I firmly believe my headache is from the group of guys behind our table and not the copious amounts of alcohol consumed.

A good read: An Aussie in Paris watching the State of Origin.

Blog Template Envy

Indiana wrote about template envy a while ago, and however much I liked my 'ye olde' I wanted a change. Thanks to Dot and Mars I was inspired...

Ohhh, I also did a big link clean up :-)

The One That Didn't Call...

I just wrote about the 2 men that called me, natuarally the men that called I'm not interested in and I remembered the man I was lusting over 2 weeks ago, he never called...

The Call

TAB guy just called. I haven’t heard from him for months… Totally out of the blue AND he asked if I would take the day off work and spend time with him!

Pftt.. As if!

Internal Conflict

Over the last couple of weeks I felt the world was going to open at any moment and hell was going to swallow me whole. I knew the one that could help me out of this situation, I called him yesterday, the conversation was pleasant and he organised a few people to assist me. I started reminiscing about the good times, wondering what it would be like… I know how destructive we are together but I know how wonderful we could be. I needed to cease any thoughts relating to reconciling, I played this song on repeat.

P.S. If you do read the lyrics, It wasn't my face...

Thai Me Up and Liq Her

No, it’s not a bondage thing, there is a Thai store in my local area by that name and we purchased liquor from the Liq Her store

The weekend went by in a drunken/hang over blur, here’s a list of events and/or conversations that entertained many of us over the weekend.

UPDATE: I've been made aware that there was a considerable amount of judgement passed on me with the content of this post, the randomness I found entertaining others have not and questions have been asked. I regretfully feel the need to justify my actions to prevent further ridicule...

+ ‘Wait, I’m talking to you, I’m not finished.’

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+ ‘Typical I met an eastern suburbs electrical engineer and he’s younger and shorter than me’

+ ‘You have cuddly legs’

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+ I can’t believe guys actually do that? Leave a girl in the middle of the night and not say goodbye? Seriously he couldn’t wait til the morning?

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+ ‘Are you a normal girl? You’re sure you’re not a psycho?’

+ A woman bought that wedding dress in a size 18. She is getting married! A guy wants to wake up to that everyday for the rest of his life! why are we still single? She was a bridezilla too!

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+ He went to some pub out in Parra, picked up a stray slapper and so did his mate, so I guess if you want to get some skank you just go out there. Oh, isn’t that where you met that guy you had your one nighter?

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+ She is so precious! Really, as if you would get that upset about a friend getting married 3 weeks before you do?

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+ I only slept with him once, why would he stop me in the street to say hello? I was quite happy to just continue on my way.

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+ ‘I’m not drinking anymore’ hold up my glass ‘I’m not drinking any less either’

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+ Are my legs hurting from the Bronte to Bondi walk or from the night before?

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+ I know we are supposed to be on a diet and the walk was a good start but I could so do a coffee and cake.

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+ ‘I didn’t know what a ‘pearl necklace’ was until I was *insert age*’
‘I wouldn’t mind a pearl necklace’

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+ ‘I can’t believe guys actually ask ‘when was the last time you were with a man’
‘What did you say?’
‘I said ‘too long’ I think it’s all open for interpretation 5 months or 5 hours depending on your perception of too long.’

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+ Why should I leave? I’m only going to flop on my couch and do the same thing.

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+ ‘You are joking! We all went to the same school but finished in different years and can’t remember each other?’

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+ ‘Ha! Do you remember the guys in the year above we had crushes on back at school, *insert names*?’
‘Of course! Do you remember when *insert name* pushed you off the wall and he and his friends ran up the street like a herd of elephants!’
‘Yep, well I think it was one of the friends last night’

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+ Is it wrong to text message a guy and ask if he’s circumcised? I don’t think I’ve ever seen one that’s not…

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+ Why is it men choose to wake you by putting their arms around you and touching your stomach, it’s an inopportune time, I’m not sucking in my tummy in some contortionist’s position?

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+ Damn it, I was in between waxing appointments!

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+ Well you know *insert name*? I kinda have a thing for his dad, yeah I know I’ve slept with him. Father and son…? Oh, I have issues.

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+ Hmmmm… You do realise we have been looking at wedding dresses for over an hour and I can’t even find a guy I want to have a second date with?

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+ ‘Why do you wear tight jeans?’ ‘You like the attention?’

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+ Why couldn’t I be like Miranda from SATC when she hooks up with Steve the bar tender?
"Can I get your phone number?"
"Why?" she asks.
"So I can ask you for a date," he explains.
Miranda's voice is thick with sarcasm as she tells him, "You don't have to make believe you're going to call."

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+ On Friday night when I cooked for *insert name* why did I fell like jumping him all night?

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+ ‘We really have to lift our man standards.’
‘We can only go up from here’

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+ I like girth, he didn’t have girth

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+ ‘Yeah, I’m still getting texts from *insert name*, I don’t care but I wish they didn’t come through before 8.00am, I can’t handle booty calls first thing in the morning’
‘But I thought you said you like ‘morning glory”?’

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+ I couldn’t imagine anything worse then 6 bridesmaids all about a size 14-16 wearing purple! I get visuals of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory when Violet turns violet and gets rolled out to be squeezed!

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+ When you read about one of the women a guy has dated/shagged and now expresses interest in you and wonder if I come across or fall into the same category as erm… That... Charming…

Disclaimer: Everything is written in the first person but may not have necessarily been my actions or words

Happy New Financial Year

It's been 6 months and I only satisfied a couple of my new years resolutions. So I've decided to re-establish my commitments to myself.

New Financial Year Resolutions

The grandest goal achieved for me in the last 6 months is that I'm now 100% debt free. This will be changing tomorrow as I now I've cleared my credit cards I don't have anything in my savings and my car registration needs to be paid tomorrow, on the credit card... But however short, 3 days of being unencumbered.

I can only laugh at a couple of other resolutions, I already broke several on the first and second day into it!

Head On

Inches away from having my first head on car accident, my heart jumped to my throat.

I was happily driving west down Foveaux Street, turning right on to Riley approaching the corner about 30k's (I do speed around Sydney) I saw a car in the left lane, I slammed the breaks, pulled the wheel, hand on the park break.

The fuck-knuckle didn't realise it was a 2 way street!