Coincidently the other night, at the hen’s function one of the girls said with such conviction ‘I have to introduce you to my brother; you’ll get along so well, he’s quirky, not as quirky as you! But quirky’ I pondered my quirkiness and thought of all those elaborate and bizarre attributes men have that I either love or loathe…
Oh, and I must add Jez' comments when I told him I had started fencing lessons, after he yelled 'En Garde' like everyone else :-p 'I always knew you were strange, but fencing? You're turning wierd!'
I’ve decided I'm going to lift my standards a little from just ‘be able to stand being around him for more than 10 minutes’ further to all my dear friends that claim ‘my idea of a long term relationship is staying to order dessert’
Here are some of my quirky attributes I lust for in a man and my wuirks that they will have to either love about me or deal with (one way or another):
Must not be shorter than me.
He must not make stupid jokes about ‘not carrying a bomb’ while at an airport – ever!
I will not date a vegetarian.
No judgement allowed for my sometimes daggy taste in music, I own: Earth, Wind and Fire, Elvis, Billy Idol, Brittany Spears and various other socially laughable albums.
Good teeth, I had too many years of orthodonture, if I were to ever have a child it’s gotta have half a chance of decent teeth.
I don't like one syllable names, I prefer a man with 2-3 syllables in his name, I feel there’s more emphasis and passion when I’m yelling it out in bed through pure ecstasy!
He must understand that often, after sex I will say ‘what do you want to do now’ and jump up. Life is too short to do the obligatory hug.
He must know more than me about the following topics:
- Cars
- Sport
- Construction
I can’t date a gut that wears diamond encrusted sun glasses.
A non-smoker (I travelled with my smoking ex-boyfriend, he sent me crazy).
He must not make that slurping sound while eating.
A nice nose – I just don’t like mine. See above re: teeth.
When he tells a story not to reuterate everything each party has said. Give me the deatials in point form.
No judgement allowed when I’m dancing to Elvis while vacuuming. It’s my thing, just leave it.
Non-snorer, I’m a very weak sleeper, I need my sleep, I’m grumpy if I don’t sleep well. This is in the best interest of man.
Good hand writing as mine looks like chicken scratches.
To like one of the following:
- Baroque Period/Opera
- 1920’s Jazz
- 1950’s Musicals
Preferably be able to speak another language as I can not.
I do not ‘go camping’ I don’t care how appealing you make it sound. My idea of ‘roughing it’ is sharing a bathroom. This. Will. Never. Change.
No judgement allowed if I eat an entire sticky date pudding in one night.
I will be interested in what you are saying, but I have a short attention span. Allow for it.
When it rains, most of the time I will walk and enjoy the cool drops on my skin, other times I will squeal, curse and run undercover – There is no way of knowing which way I’ll act
He must not bring any food products into the bedroom. I firmly believe food and sex are indulgences to be experienced separately.
30 comments:
Nat, you know i love you. but thats quite a list of demands. some i agree with- short men, urgh. the freak factor walking down the street- i'm glad you're with me on that.
but the amount of syllables in a name? seriously?
bottom line, you'll probably end up with someone who is everything you don't like and you'll love him so much none of it will matter. if you met a guy who had everything on your list, you'd get bored, there'd be no challenge and you'd think he's a pussy.
Vik, I love that you used 'pussy' that is so my word!
You know my standards aren't that high! You've met all my ex-boyfriends! LMAO!!!
I do hope one day i met a guy and I'll fall head over heels in love and all his faults and quirks i will love and live happily ever after :-)
"I can’t date a gut that wears diamond encrusted sun glasses". It's like something out of Monty Python.
Julia, I've seen a guy wearing diamond encrusted sunglesses! He was at Cabana Bar, complemented by a pink 'industry' top with the collar turned up! Blegh!
FYI - I've never seen more than 20 seconds of Monty Python.
I know about that guy, I'm refering to how funny it sounded with the spelling mistake.
LMAO! I missed it! I can't really go back and correct now :-P
I learnt way back not to make lists when it comes to men. Whenever I've been swept off my feet, it was always by a different type of man and I've never had to tick the box so to speak.
I reserve lists for my fictional characters, and funny you should mention the multi-syllable names, because when it comes to men, I tend to choose those with 1 or 2 syllables.
From your list, I'd definitely say no to a smoker. And all men snore at some point; that's why they invented the spare bedroom!
cBbae, I must've been REALLY lucky! My 3 long term BF's didn't snore... I'm not taking the list seriously, noone comes in a box with personality ingredients ;-)
ha! great list...
tough criteria though... a guy that doesn't snore? Ever?
who wears diamond-encrusted sunglasses?
All that in one man...you don't want much do you? Why not just look for a guy who is upright and breathing.
Right now my criteria is taller than me (I'm 5'3 so it's not hard), funny and has a beard.
And the beard is negotiable.
I think having standards of what's acceptable to you and what you won't stand for is smart. That's a kinda intimidating list though for men interested in you, have they ever raised your 'high standards' with you before?
Indy, I'm not sure Nat likes them upright ;)
Cibby, it’s not really... Tall, fairly good looking, non-smoker, non-snorer, courteous meat eater, that doesn't make stupid jokes, like a range of music and not judge me for my daggy taste in music.
who wears diamond-encrusted sunglasses? I’ve seen it! Hence it’s on my list.
Indy, my standards for the last 1.5 years has been 'non-offensive' that didn’t get me anywhere…
Lucy, my 2 long term boyfriends were 95% there. If only there was a way to combine them all ;-)
Indy, Vik is right.. she knows me so well ;-)
Wow, Nat! This is quite a list. And I thought I was 'hard work'. To be fair I do agree with some of your points. As I have recently discovered having a few boxes which a man ticks is just not enough. Have always lusted after men who would take me to wonderful restaurants and we would linger for hours over fab conversation ... and have now discovered that the guys more likely to do this tend to be OLD!
alphachick - I adore you!!!!!!
I'm over the wonderful restaurants, the whole wining and dining experiance is now lost on me... I'm happy to hang at a local pub with a $5 steak and watch the footy. I do have my quirks, many quiks - as you know. But babes, look back at my BF's am I really 'hard work'?
Cool! It's like a meme. This will take some space LOL
Must not be shorter than me: 5’10 ½ ”. I broke my back and the plate made me shorter – True! Ask Dusty.
He must not make stupid jokes about ‘not carrying a bomb’ while at an airport – ever!: I was an armourer in the NAVY and never make fun about explosives
I will not date a vegetarian: I owned Brahman cattle! Vegetarians are the enemy!
No judgement allowed for my sometimes daggy taste in music, I own: Earth, Wind and Fire, Elvis, Billy Idol, Brittany Spears and various other socially laughable albums: I own Eagles, Concrete Blondes, Alice Cooper and lots of C&W
Good teeth, I had too many years of orthodonture, if I were to ever have a child it’s gotta have half a chance of decent teeth: Pretty good. Noone has complained about my smile and the LLs don’t need a retainer.
I don't like one syllable names, I prefer a man with 2-3 syllables in his name, I feel there’s more emphasis and passion when I’m yelling it out in bed through pure ecstasy!My real name has THREE syllables but only my Mum yells them out when I’m in trouble.
He must understand that often, after sex I will say ‘what do you want to do now’ and jump up. Life is too short to do the obligatory hug: Who’s up for a game of cards?
He must know more than me about the following topics:
- Cars
- Sport
- Construction food, Opera,Socialising, Rosters
I can’t date a gut that wears diamond encrusted sun glasses.No gut and sunnies are raybans
A non-smoker (I traveled with my smoking ex-boyfriend, he sent me crazy):gave up nearly three months ago
He must not make that slurping sound while eating:I hate that sound!!!!
A nice nose – I just don’t like mine. See above re: teeth.See teeth
When he tells a story not to reiterate everything each party has said. Give me the details in point form:This is one of my pet hates. A guy at work tells me EVERY single thing his wife/kids say when relating a story. I wish I still owned a gun
No judgment allowed when I’m dancing to Elvis while vacuuming. It’s my thing, just leave it:Even better in the nude
Non-snorer, I’m a very weak sleeper, I need my sleep, I’m grumpy if I don’t sleep well. This is in the best interest of man:Don’t think so.
Good hand writing as mine looks like chicken scratches:I love my script almost as much as drawing.
To like one of the following:
- Baroque Period/Opera :I have a HANDEL on that (Did you get it?)
- 1920’s Jazz:Art deco and Flappers
- 1950’s Musicals:Oklahoma anyone?
Preferably be able to speak another language as I can not:I can speak Victorian and Queenslander fluently
I do not ‘go camping’ I don’t care how appealing you make it sound. My idea of ‘roughing it’ is sharing a bathroom. This. Will. Never. Change:I love camping
No judgment allowed if I eat an entire sticky date pudding in one night: What about sharing?
I will be interested in what you are saying, but I have a short attention span. Allow for it:Sorry did you say something?
When it rains, most of the time I will walk and enjoy the cool drops on my skin, other times I will squeal, curse and run undercover – There is no way of knowing which way I’ll act:Rain? We used to have that up here and are currently praying for it now
He must not bring any food products into the bedroom. I firmly believe food and sex are indulgences to be experienced separately:I love eating in bed…but not food ;)
I’m not going into the usual: compassionate, loving, intelligent, witty, respectful – as soon as I hear those attributes come out of a female’s mouth I roll my eyes, It goes without saying!Is that like Nice or Great Personality?
heeee, I get called quirky a bit too. Though can't say I've ever taken fencing lessons ;)
What I want? someone who totally adores me and is lovable, themselves! Though it would be cool if they would put the air in my car tyres every now and again.
So a horizontal man with vertical bits ~grin~
That was awesome! I don't feel as weird anymore :)
I must say, Miss Natalie, that I am somewhat amazed the list. Not the fact that you have one but that none of the things expressed, both individually and as a whole, is that demanding. Initially I had some subconscious thoughts that you are actually a man but then I realized that Raffaella has many of the same attitudes. I was also suprised by the support of the commenters.
Then I realized that if you women feel this is a demanding list, there must be a many, many, many, really weird men out there...
I probably hit about 80% of your requirement. Plus, I am tall, dark, handsome, ripped, witty, educated and, above all, modest.
I expect you to take me out somewhere very posh.
And pay for the colossal airfare necessary to undertake the date.
I thank you.
I've never heard of a straight guy that likes musicals, so hopefully you can find a a jazz or opera guy.
I eat in bed all the time, so that rules me out. Usually candy. Does that count?
Good luck!
A great list. I've taken extensive notes, and will try to be a better person.
The post-coital "jumping up" is a little scary though. ;)
Scorpy! I have a HANDEL on that (Did you get it?) OF COURSE! I'll definatly share my sticky date pudding with you :-)
M - I hope you find your man who totally adores me and is lovable, themselves. You deserve only the best :-)
Oh Indy, you're getting to know me well.
Sarah, very happy to assist. Embrace the weirdness it make you special.
Thanks David, I didn't think I'm being demanding at all... I didn't outline jobs, cars, own property etc... Although I'd like the guy to have 'a job' :-P
I work in a male dominated industry, some ideals were distend to rub of on me :-)
Ultra Toast - 80% i'm impressed, love the insersion of modest ;-)
*running to get credit card*
BRFA - MFL (my first love) enjoyed all 3, guess i got lucky there. The eating in bed thing originated with a bad honey and sex incident, candy is ok.
wintrs - post-coital "jumping up" is sometimes replaced by a "roll over and go to sleep" ;-)
will try to be a better person Darling, be who you are..
You're not asking for much, are you, Nat?
He must know more than me about the following topics:- Cars - Sport
Give me the detials in point form.
I have a short attention span. Allow for it.
Natalie... you're sounding just like a guy!!!!!!
Must not be shorter than me.
Hmm, I'm 5'11", how tall are you?
He must not make stupid jokes about ‘not carrying a bomb’ while at an airport – ever!
People who joke about those sorts of things should be banned from ever flying.
I will not date a vegetarian.
I could never be a vegetarian, meat is an excellent source of protein, for stamina and endurance ;)
No judgement allowed for my sometimes daggy taste in music, I own: Earth, Wind and Fire, Elvis, Billy Idol, Brittany Spears and various other socially laughable albums.
I have eclectic music taste, from 60's to naughties, except country and western
Good teeth, I had too many years of orthodonture, if I were to ever have a child it’s gotta have half a chance of decent teeth.
If ever you were to have a child? WTF? Sigh - never had braces, or ever needed anything done to my teeth other than the occasional filling.
I don't like one syllable names, I prefer a man with 2-3 syllables in his name, I feel there’s more emphasis and passion when I’m yelling it out in bed through pure ecstasy!
Two syllables, although I am referred to by my diminutive. Hey, call me whatever you like if you're in ecstasy!
He must understand that often, after sex I will say ‘what do you want to do now’ and jump up. Life is too short to do the obligatory hug.
And my response would be, round 2 ;)
He must know more than me about the following topics:
- Cars
- Sport
- Construction
Not sure how much you know, let's find out and see :p
I can’t date a gut that wears diamond encrusted sun glasses.
But you like Elvis? You are a complex woman aren't you?
A non-smoker (I travelled with my smoking ex-boyfriend, he sent me crazy).
I've never smoked, hate smoking, smoking killed my father. Not a fan.
He must not make that slurping sound while eating.
Okay, what are we talking about here, food or something else...?
A nice nose – I just don’t like mine. See above re: teeth.
I've had no complaints.
When he tells a story not to reuterate everything each party has said. Give me the deatials in point form.
Okay, if you're eyes start to glaze over, I'll truncate - got it :p
No judgement allowed when I’m dancing to Elvis while vacuuming. It’s my thing, just leave it.
As long as there are no diamond encrusted sunglasses, vacuum away. I'm happy to vacuum while I listen to my iPod, and dance *blush*
Non-snorer, I’m a very weak sleeper, I need my sleep, I’m grumpy if I don’t sleep well. This is in the best interest of man.
I'm pretty good these days, but wouldn't say I'm a non-snorer.
Good hand writing as mine looks like chicken scratches.
bah bow. So's mine - meh, I type. Who writes anything these days?
To like one of the following:
- Baroque Period/Opera
- 1920’s Jazz
- 1950’s Musicals
Definitely open to opera and love Baroque music, so soothing, so rich, and tuneful. 1920's Jazz, check, 1950's Musicals, "gotta wash that man right out of my hair, gotta wash that man right out of my hair..." check.
Preferably be able to speak another language as I can not.
Mais oui, mademoiselle. Voulez vous couchez avec moi, ce soir?
I do not ‘go camping’ I don’t care how appealing you make it sound. My idea of ‘roughing it’ is sharing a bathroom. This. Will. Never. Change.
I've been camping in the past, I'm over it. A comfy bed, aircon, and cable TV.
No judgement allowed if I eat an entire sticky date pudding in one night.
I'm with Scorpy - Share!
I will be interested in what you are saying, but I have a short attention span. Allow for it.
Got it. Short enough? :p
When it rains, most of the time I will walk and enjoy the cool drops on my skin, other times I will squeal, curse and run undercover – There is no way of knowing which way I’ll act
lol - okay, sure. Surprise me.
He must not bring any food products into the bedroom. I firmly believe food and sex are indulgences to be experienced separately.
I Haven't ever mixed the two, can't see why I would now.
Dusty, am i???? Look at Scorpy and Nick's reponses.
GB - that's one of my problems with the men I met, I'm usually the one wearing the pants, I'm not interested...
Thanks Nick - SEE It's not unreasonable :-P
I'm not sure that he exists for another few hundred years until you can genetically engineer him :P
Greg - he's not too hard to find...
R. Allen - Initially thank you :-)
i only wish i could speak another language, i've tried to learn unfortunately i have difficulty grasping it. I know he wouldn't teach me. my 3 long term boyfriends (Greek, Italian, Sicilian) only ever taught me a dozen words, it would be lovely to go travelling through Italy and one of us to be able to order food correctly :-)
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