Life: Filtering a Friend - TAKE 2

It's almost a year since I wrote this post:

This is going to be hard, I have come to the conclusion that one of the girls in my life has a negative impact on me.

She is someone that I have a lot in common with, we both enjoy musical theatre, horse racing, same venues for casual and formal drinks, she's beautiful, witty and intelligent, it's shame that our other commonality is the man we dated.

I feel that every time I'm around her I'm reminded that I was inadequate for D, he wanted to be with her.

On Saturday night I went to a friend of a friends birthday cocktail party, The Doctor who use to pine for me, send random text messages brought a date to the party - my friend, this friend. To set the record straight, I have no romantic interest in this man and the last couple occasions I've been out where he has been I've left with another man. With this I'm more than happy for him to see my friends, but why this girl?

I'm fragile enough as it is when it comes to my self esteem, I can not expose myself to this slap in the face any longer... I will have to slowly filter out any and then all social contact with her for my own well being.

I guess filtering out a friend that you have so much in common with is a little easier said than done... 11 months later we still go out together, and I feel just about the same, granted the inadequacies relating to D have dissipated a little, however, 2 men that we've met together in the last 6 months have fancied her, when they learn she's not interested in them romantically, they move onto me.

It was The American I liked and worked at, hey where did that get me? Nowhere other than the recipient of an uncomfortable email a couple months later. Now it's my flatmates friend Colonel Mustard, we were all out last night (at The Doctors birthday celebration) and toward the end of the night he pulled me close on the dance floor going in for the kiss. Instead of feeling flattered I felt flat and danced away from him.

I'm through with feeling second best, if I remove her and the the spotlight always on her maybe I'll finally be out of the shadow...