In light of the serious issue of Australian Citizenship within the news of late, I thoroughly agree with any immigrant wanting to reside in Australia they should know about Australian customs, traditions and culture. Even though the below questionnaire is a rouse I love it! Scary thing is I FAIL! I hate cricket and don't drink beer...
Australian Government
Department of Immigration and Multicultural and Indigenous Affairs
Department of Immigration and Multicultural and Indigenous Affairs
You must answer 75% (28 or more out of 37) of these questions correctly in order to qualify for Australian Citizenship
1. How many slabs can you fit in the back of a Falcon Ute while also allowing room for your cattle dog?
2. When packing an Esky do you put the ice, or the beer, in first?
3. Is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner:
a) At least two roasted meats with roast vegetables, followed by a pudding you could use as a cannonball. Also ham. In 40C heat.
b) A seafood buffet followed by a barbie, with rather a lot of booze. And ham. In 40C heat.
c) Both of the above, one at lunchtime and one at dinnertime. Weather continues fine.
4. How many beers in a slab?
5. You call that a knife, this is a knife.
True or False?
6. Does "yeah-nah" mean
a) "Yes and no"
b) "Maybe"
c) "Yes I understand but No I don't agree"?
7. The phrases "strewth" and "flamin' dingo" can be attributed to which TV character?
a) Toadie from Neighbours
b) Alf from Home & Away
c) Agro from Agro's Cartoon Connection
d) Sgt. Tom Croydon from Blue Heelers?
8. When cooking a barbecue do you turn the sausages
a) Once or twice
b) As often as necessary to cook
c) After each stubby
d) Until charcoal?
9. Name three of the Daddo brothers.
10. Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC?
11. Which option describes your ideal summer afternoon:
a) Drinking beer at a mate's place
b) Drinking beer at the beach
c) Drinking beer watching the cricket/footy
d) Drinking beer at a mate's place while watching the cricket before going to the beach?
12. Would you eat pineapple on pizza? Would you eat egg on a pizza?
13. How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from Australia to England?
14. How many stubbies is it from Brissy to the Gold Coast in a Torana travelling at 120km/h?
15. Who are Scott and Charlene?
16. How do you apply your tomato sauce to a pie?
a) Squirt and spread with finger
b) Sauce injection straight into the middle?
17. If the police raided your home would you:
a) Allow them to rummage through your personal items
b) Phone up the nearest talkback radio shock jock and complain
c) Put a written complaint in to John Howard and hope that he answers it personally?
18. Which Australian Prime Minister held the world record for drinking a yardie full of beer the fastest?
19. Have you ever had/do you have a mullet?
20. Thongs are:
a) Skimpy underwear
b) Casual footwear
c) They're called jandals, bro?
21. On which Ashes tour did Warney's hair look the best?
a) 1993
b) 1997
c) 2001
d) 2005
22. What is someone more likely to die of:
a) Red Back Spider
b) Great White Shark
c) Victorian Police Officer
d) King Brown Snake
e) Your missus after a big night
f) Dropbear?
23. How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner barbie?
24. Can you sing along to Cold Chisel's Khe Sanh?
25. Explain both the "follow-on" and "LBW" rules in cricket and discuss the pros and cons for the third umpire decisions in the latter....
26. Name at least 5 items that must be taken to a BBQ.
27. Who is current Australian test cricket captain:
a) Ricky Ponting
b) Don Bradman
c) John Howard
d) Makybe Diva?
28. Is it best to take a sick day on:
a) When the cricket's on
b) When the cricket's on
c) When the cricket’s on?
29. What animal is on the Bundaberg Rum bottle?
30. What is the difference between a pot and a middy of beer?
31. What are Budgie smugglers?
32. What brand and size of Esky will you be purchasing?
33. Did you cry when Molly died on a Country Practice?
34. A "Hoppoate" is:
a) A breed of kangaroo
b) A kind of Australian "wedgie"
c) A disgraced Rugby League player?
35. What does having a 'chunder' mean?
36. When you were young did you prefer the Hills Hoist over any swing set?
37. What does the terminology 'True Blue' mean?
Your Score ………….
1. How many slabs can you fit in the back of a Falcon Ute while also allowing room for your cattle dog?
2. When packing an Esky do you put the ice, or the beer, in first?
3. Is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner:
a) At least two roasted meats with roast vegetables, followed by a pudding you could use as a cannonball. Also ham. In 40C heat.
b) A seafood buffet followed by a barbie, with rather a lot of booze. And ham. In 40C heat.
c) Both of the above, one at lunchtime and one at dinnertime. Weather continues fine.
4. How many beers in a slab?
5. You call that a knife, this is a knife.
True or False?
6. Does "yeah-nah" mean
a) "Yes and no"
b) "Maybe"
c) "Yes I understand but No I don't agree"?
7. The phrases "strewth" and "flamin' dingo" can be attributed to which TV character?
a) Toadie from Neighbours
b) Alf from Home & Away
c) Agro from Agro's Cartoon Connection
d) Sgt. Tom Croydon from Blue Heelers?
8. When cooking a barbecue do you turn the sausages
a) Once or twice
b) As often as necessary to cook
c) After each stubby
d) Until charcoal?
9. Name three of the Daddo brothers.
10. Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC?
11. Which option describes your ideal summer afternoon:
a) Drinking beer at a mate's place
b) Drinking beer at the beach
c) Drinking beer watching the cricket/footy
d) Drinking beer at a mate's place while watching the cricket before going to the beach?
12. Would you eat pineapple on pizza? Would you eat egg on a pizza?
13. How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from Australia to England?
14. How many stubbies is it from Brissy to the Gold Coast in a Torana travelling at 120km/h?
15. Who are Scott and Charlene?
16. How do you apply your tomato sauce to a pie?
a) Squirt and spread with finger
b) Sauce injection straight into the middle?
17. If the police raided your home would you:
a) Allow them to rummage through your personal items
b) Phone up the nearest talkback radio shock jock and complain
c) Put a written complaint in to John Howard and hope that he answers it personally?
18. Which Australian Prime Minister held the world record for drinking a yardie full of beer the fastest?
19. Have you ever had/do you have a mullet?
20. Thongs are:
a) Skimpy underwear
b) Casual footwear
c) They're called jandals, bro?
21. On which Ashes tour did Warney's hair look the best?
a) 1993
b) 1997
c) 2001
d) 2005
22. What is someone more likely to die of:
a) Red Back Spider
b) Great White Shark
c) Victorian Police Officer
d) King Brown Snake
e) Your missus after a big night
f) Dropbear?
23. How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner barbie?
24. Can you sing along to Cold Chisel's Khe Sanh?
25. Explain both the "follow-on" and "LBW" rules in cricket and discuss the pros and cons for the third umpire decisions in the latter....
26. Name at least 5 items that must be taken to a BBQ.
27. Who is current Australian test cricket captain:
a) Ricky Ponting
b) Don Bradman
c) John Howard
d) Makybe Diva?
28. Is it best to take a sick day on:
a) When the cricket's on
b) When the cricket's on
c) When the cricket’s on?
29. What animal is on the Bundaberg Rum bottle?
30. What is the difference between a pot and a middy of beer?
31. What are Budgie smugglers?
32. What brand and size of Esky will you be purchasing?
33. Did you cry when Molly died on a Country Practice?
34. A "Hoppoate" is:
a) A breed of kangaroo
b) A kind of Australian "wedgie"
c) A disgraced Rugby League player?
35. What does having a 'chunder' mean?
36. When you were young did you prefer the Hills Hoist over any swing set?
37. What does the terminology 'True Blue' mean?
Your Score ………….
15 comments:
It's a pretty slow Friday at work, so for the benefit of any non-Aussies reading Nat's test here are the answers...
1. Don't know, true Aussies would only allow their dog to ride in a Holden, in which case the answer is 93 in HG. (Don't ask how I know)
2. Beer...the ice melts down over the beer.
3. c
4. 24
5. True
6. c
7. b
8. d
9. Cameron, Evan and the one in the wheel chair
10. Bon Scott
11. d.
12. Yes, but only to impress a sheila. No.
13. 53
14. 3, 4 if you have to stop at Yatala for a pie and some petrol.
15. The people any adolescent in the 80's wanted to either be or lose their virginity too...kinda ironic wasn't it girls how that worked out for you all.
16. a
17. d. Offer them a beer.
18. Bob Hawke
19. No...but I know many a bogan who does.
20. b
21. We only cared for his bowling not his hair, his antics or where he put his schlong.
22. c.
23. Once.
24. Yes.
25. Follow on, means you suck and your batsman are rooted and you need to keep playing. LBW means you are a bit of a wanker and need to get your body out of the road of the stumps...third umpires give us all something to argue about in the pub, or have a freindly wager on while watching the crisket.
26. Beer, snags, steak, potato salad & beer...your misses is optional.
27. a
28. all of the above.
29. A polar bear
30. Nothing.
31. Dick Stickers. ie: Speedos
32. Coleman, the biggest you can afford.
33. Blood Oath.
34. c
35. It means to drive the porcelin bus. To up-chuck, to spew, to give a techni-colour yawn.
36. Yeah, but only if we could set up the sprinkler underneath it.
37. It means you are dinkim, and you probably got most of these answers right.
Indy! I love it!!!!
You may start a Holden v Ford debate
I feel we may still have problems, as follows:
- Sheila
- Bogan
- batsman are rooted
- a bit of a wanker
- have a friendly wager
- Snags
- Blood Oath
- Spew (so, reminds me of Kylie Mole)
THANK YOU!!!!
Without reviwweing Indy's answers..I thought I'd give it a bash. It will be inetersting to read his answers after mine to see what we came up with.
1. None. I would never let my Dog in the back of a FORD..
2. Beer first
3. Is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner:
c) Both of the above, one at lunchtime and one at dinnertime. Weather continues fine. And you eat the remaining ham out of the ‘special’ bag for a week.
4. Not enough
5. Neither. Real men use rifles with a 20x scope
6. It is the standard answer of any male answering a female whilst he is watching sports. Also acceptable is Yep, Sure and Fuck off
7. You have to ask a female between the ages of 12 and 15 or a Pommie because no Aussie male would watch such dribble.
8. Who cares? The snags are ready when the people are ready to eat them. If they don’t like the colour turn the lights down
9. Pass.
10. Bonn Scott. You must get this right! I saw HIM live well at least before he was dead
11. Yes
12. Pineapple
13. This is Moot because it is in dispute. Rod Marsh started in the Airport Lounge and continued thru Singapore stopover whereas Bonnie only drank on the flight. There can be no record other than that which was started by Marshy
14. Trick question because no-one can do 120kph on the Brissy to GC highway
15. See answer to Q7
16. I use BBQ sauce and inject it twice thru separate orifices.
17. They’ll never take me
18. Hawkie whilst a Rhodes scholar no less
19. Sort of last year but before that SBS
20. Indispensable
21. It would have to be pre 1997 because after that it was implants
22. e) Your missus after a big night? Everyone knows dropbears only attack female backpackers
23. Everytime the sizzle drops below 18db it must be flipped
24. OFF course…Why did you have to ask?
25. I was hope you were going to ask about the rain rule during one day innings both here and England as opposed to the rule as applied in the Sub continent during 20/20 matches…
26. Beer, Stubbie cooler, ice, stupid hat and more beer
27. Our man Ricky…
28. Any day is a good day…cricket is a bonus
29. World s biggest drop bear
30. Only the type of beer
31. Illegal
32. I have a 100 litre Esky capable of holding 100 cans and can be stood on by two men, simultaneously, whilst watching the cricket on our sick day
33. Didn’t you read the answer to Q7???
34. A legendary MANLY player that was unjustly dealt with by the Eastern Suburbs media
35. You’re a poof!
36. Hills hoist could always fit more kids on it
37. Dog food?
So How'd I do? I'll have to read Indy's now
Thanks Miss Nat and Indy.
That was an excellent booster shot for my Australian-ness.
Brill.
I got 20 right!! W00t!
Holdens all the way. Nuff said.
A great quiz. But very hard for a prisoner of mother England like myself!
I loved Neighbours. Pure class.
An incredibly high ratio of its actors decided to try a singing career though. What does that say about their acting?
Hmm...
Wow, I have a lot to learn about Australia! :-)
1. depends how many kids you have in there as well
2. you have to find it out in the shed first
3. e) trying to hide suggestive texts sent between you and the drunken slapper you shagged at the office Xmas party from the missuz
4. not enough
5. you call that a wife? THIS is a wife...
6. need more beer to form an opinion
7. a drongo
8. Turn 'em when the gas bottle runs out
9. No need. Daddo is a collective noun.
10. Lady Scott's son
11. e) d), but with the added bonus of some racial taunts
12. Pizza? Sounds a bit like wog food to me...
13. ... and why did no-one throw the fat, ignorant prick off in mid air?
14. Twice as many as a DB9 travelling at 240km/h
15. the couple down the street involved in the pyramid selling scheme
16. The same way you apply the icecream.
17. phone ACA and try to get on TV
18. Harold Holt. Then he went for a swim...
19. Yes but I hate squid
20. ...never found together in the same place
21. you mean his real hair or the other stuff?
22. g) Naiomi Robson
23. 4 burner? well laaaaaa- de - dah...
24. No... and I'll punch anyone who tries.
25. Golden opportunities for beer commercials in live telecasts
26. Six phrases that convey a smouldering contempt for carnivores
27. The next heir to Ashley and Martin
28. The day your PRD is sheduled
29. Shane Warne
30. Inflation
31. A shame
32. A big Jeep one to go with our big Jeep sweety
33. No, but I did when they showed it fifty times on "50 years of Television".
34. A kind of sausage
35. A "Chunder" is where you buy high yielding stock immediately before it goes ex-dividend, then sell it ex-entitlement, yielding a net capital loss for tax purposes, but retaining a fully or partially franked dividend payment.
36. Only next-door's Hills Hoist
37. It means you are NOT a terrorist. Apparently...
Here's another humorous take on a citizenship test...
http://satiricalmuslim.wordpress.com/2006/09/24/exclusive-proposed-citizenship-test-for-migrants/
Er, I got 4. Hehe :)
jesus, I'll never be a citizen here.
Thanks guys for all your answers!
Scorps, I feel the same re: Q7, i was young enough at the time to get away with it ;-)
wombat, drop by anytime, i'll be sure to include more aussie colloquialisms for your pleasure :-)
Steph - ahhh.. you're a Holden girl, good to know.
winters - the acting is almost as deplorable as their singing.
Heather - we're a fun lot! That's all you have to know.
GB: Daddo is a collective noun love it! I thought there were 3?!?! I'm not young enough I guess.
Russell- They are getting that way $16 for a pair of flip flops! nup should be less that $10
I’ve even got 'Suddenly', their wedding song in cassette single You must be joking!
Thanks anon! So cool!
Sarah - we'll help you out a bit on Aussie culture ;-)
Cibby - Stay down under! You know about the meat tray!!!! Better start than so many others ;-)
Another one for you all to try
All candidates must use a black biro. If you don’t, you will not be
allowed to gain citizenship.
Q1 Can you read what is written here?
Yes – Go to Q6.
No – What does it matter what we write then? You’re naturally going to go to
Q2 We can say whatever we want, can't we?
Q3 Ner ner. So progression, modernity and prosperity aren’t good enough for you?
Q4 You will never fit in because you look different and you can't speak English. How do you communicate with anyone if you don’t know English? How do you live/buy/eat without the English language?
Q5 Tee hee. We haven't had this much fun since the "children overboard" scandal.
Q6 Congratulations. You may actually be in with a chance. Do you feel lucky? Well, do you, punk?
Q7 Three men walk into a bar. Will you be one of them?
Q8 What do you think of women's rights, and if you are female, are you prepared to signify your loyalty to these rights by wearing a bikini? If you are a man, are you willing to support this loyalty?
Q9 What do you really think of the Queen? (The monarch, not the band).
Q10 What does VB stand for?
Q11 Would you ever put pork on your fork?
Yes – Prove it.
No – Would you still not eat a pig even if it would save your migrationary bacon?
Q12 It has recently been reported that Australia has, after years of hard work and many episodes of Neighbours and Home and Away, finally achieved one of the highest rankings by the OECD for teenage pregnancy. Please discuss.
As you know already, Australia is an equal opportunity nation. We do not discriminate on the basis of age, gender, religion or sexual preference, unless we know we can get away with it.
Q13 How often do you pray?
Never – End of test.
Sometimes – Go to
Q14.Five times a day – Don't call us, we'll call you.
Q14 When you say sometimes, does it involve kneeling and a prayer mat?
Yes – Go to Special Security Section Q21.
No – Go to Q15.
Q15 Let’s imagine that by a very strange and unpredictable turn of events, mosques are forbidden in Australia. (Like pretendsies, for fun). How would you react?
(a) Bring the mosque to your home – Go to Q16;
(b) Oh well, such is the life – Go to Q16;
(c) Live without any rights left as long as Neighbours isn’t taken off the air – Go to Q16; or
(d) Protest about it until they’re restored – Go to Special Security Section
Q16 Describe the role of the judiciary in five words or less.
Q17 Australia is host to indigenous people. Please discuss.
Q18 Complete this sentence:
Aussie, Aussie, Aussie___________________.
Q19 Do you think Bec Cartwright and Lleyton Hewitt make a good couple?
Q20 Which of the following is NOT an example of popular Australian lingo?
(a) Strewth;
(b) You’ve got Buckley’s;
(c) Good day; or
(d) Flat out like a lizard drinking.
Q21 How do you feel about the break up of Simone and Shane Warne?
If you made it this far, you’re in with a chance, unless your answers were crap. You may even have the Aussie spirit! Welcome to our country. We don’t need to tell you this but just in case, leave your culture and beliefs at the door.
Q22 In what year did Henry Bolte get elected as leader of the Victorian Liberal Party?
Q23 As you should be aware, Henry Parkes' family originated in Warwickshire.When they migrated to Australia, they discussed the reasons around the kitchen table in 1815. Did they migrate because of:
(a) Falling wheat prices in the UK;
(b) A failure to find work in Birmingham;
(c) Clarinda Varney suggested that Henry should move to Australia;
(d) The death of their two infant children encouraged him to start afresh in Australia; or
(e) He had been offered a job by the Customs Department prior to leaving the UK.
Q24 After Sir Henry Parkes' sixth child was born, his wife wrote a letter to him. Which emotion did she mention most in the letter and where was she when she wrote it?
Q25 What was the CPI on the day that John Howard was elected as PM?
Q26 Does Melbourne have quaternary lava flows to the east, west, north or south of its city centre? And is it true or false that there are Silurian mudstones to the east? If you had a choice between building on Holocene sand or Silurian mudstones, which would you prefer? And what is the average temperature of Sydney in September and which of the Koppen climate classifications does the city most readily fit into? And is the precipitation for the ACT more or less than the potential evapotranspiration of that region?
Still here?
Congratulations on making it this far! Don’t call us, we’ll call you.
I think an examination fails to see the point. However the fact of increasing the number of years from 2 to 4 is really appreciated. And also, they should put stricter Engish language requirement. I know so many friends of mine who came from SEAsia but can hardly speak English. I wonder how they are doing their studies here at Aus
Can we please add hoopsnakes as an option on question 22? They're scary buggers - they bite onto their tails and then they go like the wind. You can't be outrunning a hoopsnake!
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