Bon Voyage

Two of my friends have left Australian shores to pursue their career in UAE... I remember the first time I saw her, she walked through the office with such purpose and wearing such a beautiful outfit I thought no one that pretty could possibly be nice, when I first saw him sit at the desk next to mine I wondered if they were together, too very attractive people in such close proximity that appear to get along must.

Over the last year D & AC have become very near and dear to me, we have had many dinner parties, cocktails and champagne that should lead us into AA and I've met some wonderful people through them.

My office feels empty without them and there is a huge void. Bon Voyage and I hope to see you soon in Dubai.

Next Meeting

During a meeting how can I subtly count how many time someone says 'shit'. I find it highly unprofessional and I can't help it flinch each time 'all this shit' and 'it's a shit load of work 'is mentioned. I quiver with embarrassment and need to distract myself with thoughts of this is really tally worthy - now why don't any of my colleagues say anything about this behaviour? Is it now seen as acceptable for a woman to speak this way in order to be accepted by the boys, not in my book and it never will be.

It Was A Good Idea At The Time

I'm all packed, I actually did my packing in conjunction with cleaning out my wardrobe. It was a really good feeling to know when I come home I will have only what I want to have and only what I feel good in in my wardrobe.

When...

Further to my last post... I've made several lists of things to do and things not to do when ever a milestone occurs, the new years resolution, next financial year, after my birthday, this time it will be when I get back from my holiday. Number one of course will be to actually do the things on my list.

When I get back from my 4 week European extravaganza I will make a concentrated effort to save for a house deposit. I will cease seeing inappropriate men. I will maintain a better diet. I will re-enroll in fencing lessons. I will be more responsive when it comes to communication with friends. I will endeavour to have some sort of relationship with my sister.

I will do it. I must have more control over my actions and future.

Home Situation

My flat mate told me today. Today. That his girlfriend is going to move in in October. Great. A day before I go away... Something I really didn't want to have to think about when I was on holidays.

Lessons Learnt

I'm very familiar the the little nugget 'learn from your mistakes', I've been assessing and reflecting my actions of late and have come to the conclusion that I do do learn from my mistakes, that is recognising these mistakes, this assessment determined that my actions have not altered; there is a situation, an option presented to me and I'm aware these actions would be a mistake, however, I continue. Once it is over, instantaneously I am overwhelmed with regret.

Is it that I have just learnt to recognise the mistake, prepare for the immanent disappointment that follows and manage my expectations? When does the lesson take affect in my life where I will stop, where I will say to myself 'no, this is a mistake' and walk away knowing there won't be the feeling of self despair...?

got to see the ba-by!

I went to visit one of my girlfriends last night to be introduced to her 3 week old baby boy.

Earlier in the day she sent me a text requesting I come as early as I can. Totally doable. That afternoon I ran down stairs of our office to purchase a gift for her - 10 minutes and $85 plus later I was dashing back to my desk. At 530 I packed up, logged off and on my way to pick up my car before going to her place as early as I can facing peak hour traffic over the big bad bridge.

The little boy was day asleep and this have us a great chance to chat. I received 42 minutes worth of feeding stories, in excess of 25 minutes about her almost being sent home as she was only 1cm dealated - the baby was pushing to the side. Then there were stories about the midwife and comparisons with her other friends, the friends that are also married and have children.

It was painful.

There was a little squirm from the crib on the little boy was stirring, she said he does that for a while it was my chance to give her the gift. She had a look at everything, the little clothes, the entire Johnson & Johnson range, she put it down with what felt like dissatisfaction and said dismissivly thanks for that.

After 2 hours or more of her talking about new mother hood, which I get, just not so much graphic information!!! She finally asked how I am. This was my opening to tell her and her husband that I had booked my flights to Europe! This was her opening to tell me where to go.


It had got to 830 Her husband had been cooking, her poured himself a glass of wine without an offer, then progressed to place two place mats on the dining table. No question to me if I'd eaten. How could I? I came straight from work... I took this as my cue to leave, saying I should go, I have to cook myself dinner.

I found it uncomfortable and not in line with my behaviour or how I was brought up. Not even a nibbly being offered. I wouldn't do that. And, I came baring gifts! I felt rather put out by the whole event. Won't be rushing back to visit, anyway we all knw married friends with babies all gang together, if our friendship didn't have enough strain, it certainly does now.

It's Complicated

It had been a secret, it was a very well kept secret. It was to prevent me from knowing the truth... To protect my heart and my memories of love. What I regarded as real love.

My ex-boyfriend D and I broke up 2.5 years into our relationship, during that 'break' I knew he started seeing someone. I thought it was some random skanky slut. It made me feel better in saying that.

During 3 months of our break he spoke to each other regularly and I sincerely missed him, he said the same. I felt empty and lost without him.

Our split was temporary, maximum of 4 months and the moment we back together we started talking marriage and before long we were looking at purchasing a property together, a place that would be our home.

Our relationship carried on for over a year with his insistent questioning of my fidelity, it finally feel apart when his accusations of me seeing someone brought me to tears, brought him to raising his hand to me, forced me to seek assistance from the police and finally I ended it...

Only a few weeks ago (I have started writing this post over and over) I found out the girl he was seeing was someone I had met many times while we were dating, she is the sister of E, his best friends girlfriend.

Since mine and E's relationship with respective boyfriends dissolved our friendship grew, we had both been through destructive relationships and came out weaker than anyone could imagine and slowly triumphed at the realisation that our actions were necessary and most importantly the best for our wellbeing.

Over a few glasses of wine a few weeks ago L and I finally spoke about it.

They were seeing each other for 6 - 7 months.

She met his family early on (I was kept a secret for almost a year).

She thought it was over between me and D.

I apologised for all the horrible things I said about her. Of course I didn't know it was her.

I was destroyed again. Felt totally deflated. The man I was planning to marry, the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with cheated on me for months, he accused me of the action he himself was doing.

He punished me for his own actions.

I didn't think it ever possible. I now hate this man.

The Olympics

I'm curious about the footage... We have only 1.5 TV stations broadcasting and the mainstream channel has only been showing events where Aussies are competing - Is it similar in the other nations, no representative participating, therefore no coverage?

Observations...

I wandered to the bus stop closest my house, 4 buses full of people went by. The crowd gathered, when a bus pulled into the curb the bunch of people crowded the doors and we all went on one by one.

The bus traveled over the Northbridge bridge and I look at in awe as I do everyday...

I was seated at the window of the bus, staring into space when the bus pulled into the next stop where people were in single files, lined to board the bus. They all stepped on in order.

The trip surprisingly takes less time going into the CBD than to North Sydney.

People dress so much nicer in the city than North Sydney.

I spotted a ra-ra skirt in the shops.

In my course of 9 student and one teacher I can confirm 7 students are married and the teacher, the other guy in the room is not confirmed.

The course finished a little early so I went in search of shoes in Chinatown, there was one point I looked around and I was the sole anglo saxon.

I'm drawn to venues that look lush and inviting, not trendy and large.

Customer service representatives can surprise me with their friendliness and professionalism.

Going to the bus stop at 9.30pm it not a bad nor scary thing to do.

Intending to get home from a potential boozy night to watch an opening of a global event is somewhat fulfilling. Even if I fall asleep a few minutes into it.

When falling into bed with 1000 thread sheets I consider myself lucky.

Jacket

I was wrapped in you, enveloped in memories of you.

My mind drifted to when we were pressed up against each other... When I was nuzzled into the nape of your neck, you smelt so good. I loved running my hands through your hair, your hair was slightly damp from the passion we endured. Shivers run down my back when I think of you kissing me. Feeling your weight on me. Hearing you breathe deeply.

I indulge in the memories as I'm sitting there. I discreetly inhale at the collar of your jacket, I can't help close my eyes for that moment, I stare out the window into the distance reminiscing your hand caress my face before kissing me deeply, you make me weak at the knees.

I returned your jacket, I had the lingering scent of you...

Another Flying Balloonist

Once you know about it, how could you forget the Brazilian priest that was lost at sea and mine and my work colleagues reaction to said event (until we found out it was real). Today an email landed in my inbox Lawn Chair Balloonist Reaches Idaho. Yes, there was another one! Best comment 'maybe the priest was trying to fly to Sydney for World Youth Day to meet the Pope on the Harbour'

WYD is O.V.E.R

Our city taken by storm with a sea of orange - why would they use orange for this papal event? While I'm on questions, why is it World Youth Day when it goes all week!?!?

I found a few more people on the buses, a nice welcoming feel around town and really the only negative mention is the Harbour Bridge being closed all day Sunday. Hey, I stayed north.

Thursday while the popemoboat (boat-a -cade) went through the harbour I stood at the window and watched. That would be as close to seeing the pope as I could ever foresee.

Now that this event is over I can post these little gems.

World Ute Day of course hehehe

A Movie - True

Meeting a mans significant other, enjoying her company, hearing their stories, observing their banter, watching them stealing a kiss at every opportune time...

Leaving after hours of fun.

Leaving after hours of an act.

Leaving at slipping into my car seat and crying.

************

Needing a change and having my hair done, watching the disregarded hair fall to ground stacked. The terror of a change, the excitement of the prospect of a new me.

Surprise at the new person staring back at me in the mirror.

A huge smile.

Walking down the street with a bounce in my step, smiling at myself with new found spirit.


* Movie Sukkar banat AKA Caramel. This movie felt so real to me

Friend Whore!

I have this friend. A guy that my social circle regard as 'a nice guy', I have over the years mentioned that he isn't quite as nice as they think he is. Let me digress...

I met him approximately 3 years ago when I was with my friend J. as per usual he liked her, he pursued her by sending random pointless emails inquiring about the weekend coming up, then how the weekend was. Boring is the word that best describes this guys antics.

Well, we have become friends as I always say you can never have too many friends and on a selfish level I get to run past some of my dismal affairs by him for the man's prospective.

Misdirection:

- I once told him off for not driving his date home from the city after dinner. Apparently she said she was happy to catch a train close to midnight and he let her! Rule: A man should never let a lady go home alone on public transportation when he can drive, even if, the girl he claims to be interested in lives in the opposite direction or in this specific case over the bridge.

- He invited me over to his place to watch Prison Break new season he had downloaded. We watched a few epsiodes and it was getting late, I mentioned that his street was really hard to park in and that I ended up half way up the street *hint-hint walk me to my car* all he said is 'yeah, it can be difficult here'.

Occasionally I mention to my girlfriends that he may not be as nice as they think he is....

Over the years I've introduced him to several of my girlfriends, he always comments on how attractive they are and he corners them, no accosts them with conversation, he's not to bad with the initial small talk (being rather well traveled and quite bright) before you know it they have found something in common and then exchanging numbers and / or emails. Then the games are on 'How was your weekend?'

I introduced him to one of my girlfriends yesterday and predictably he sent me a message this morning saying 'how could you have hidden a fellow wine drinker from me?' FOR FUCKS SAKE! Does he need to hit on every one of my friends. Seriously.

And, just like a well crafted script he added her as a friend on facebook today.

Bastille Day Dinner

It's Bastille's Day and since none of my friends are French a large group of us decided to go out for a sensational French feast.

There were 12 of us around the table. I only know the couple that invited me along for the evening and the dinner was at at my ultimate favourite restaurant in Sydney. Bistro Moncur.

We had pre-dinner drinks at the bar upstairs as we had organised to meet at 7 but unable to be seated until 9.

I would usually feel uncomfortable only knowing a couple of people, especially as the only people I did know are my work mates inevitably I intended to be on my best behaviour.

I think my little new hair cut enhanced my confidence, I was seated at the head of the table and felt fine. I ordered the regulars, the French Onion Souffle Gratin followed by the Confit of Duck. All sensational as always, the anesthetist who was sitting next to night self proclaimed he is a wine connoisseur ordered wine for the table and as I said this was my favourite restaurant he ordered the same dishes as me to his delight thoroughly enjoyed.

I met some great people, intelligent people, fun people and people I'd love to go out to dinner with again and again. All this for $100. The best!

Hot! Hot! Hot!

Wow. Now that is hot! Okay, my hormones may be in overdrive. It has been a few weeks since I had a mans body pressed against mine...

The Hunter Valley Weekend

I came back from a weekend of wine tasting, port tasting, cheese sampling and chocolate eating.

How good can life get?

I say that now...

We drove up to the Hunter Valley on the Friday night, I had just enjoyed a couple glasses of red wine with a small group of work colleagues and yes, he was there. Sitting in the back seat of the car I was a melancholy nonchalance daze slipping in and out of a day-dreamy snooze.

Once we arrived a girlfriend and I were putting our weekend luggage in the room and we just sat on the bed and were having a long conversation, I offloaded on her - the emotional state I'm in for liaising physically with a man who's heart is with another, suffering form a flu thats been haunting me for over 3 weeks, wanting to purchase a new and the one I like is just out of my price range, the holiday I'm planning is blowing out of budget, living with other people, purchasing my own property not in the foreseeable future... I cried.

I went to bed without joining the rest of the group at all.

The next day I woke feeling refreshed, wanting to face the world with a smile on my face and thats just what I did.

We visited 4 vineyards in the morning before breaking out our packed picnic lunch at The Hunter Valley Gardens followed by more vineyards, as per usual we organised a BBQ for dinner, dessert was brownies and thats what put us in the mood for karaoke down the road.

We witnessed a scrag fight.

We went home.

I'm always on breakfast duty when we go to the hunter, apparently I make a really great omelette :-) we were on the road not long after midday and the weekend was over.

I felt relaxed, recharged and positive.

Falling Off My Chair Laughing.. Until...

I was having lunch with a couple of my work colleagues today and Billy made some random comment about a Priest that go carried away by helium balloons and lost at sea.

S and I were giggling in disbelief, our imaginations ran wild and before you know it the Priest was in his full papal outfit, a strong gust of wind taking a Priest by surprise off into the horizon and, of course red balloons.

Of course we discussed the colour of balloons, the theory behind when one would actually 'let go' of the balloons - maybe when one starts floating.

These scenarios got more absurd and crazy as the minute went by.

S and I were laughing so much in our little lunch area we were almost falling off our chairs, we were in fact folded over in laughter. There was no way this was true. If so, how did we miss this.

2 minutes after getting back to my desk 'Brazilian priest lost at sea' floated into my inbox.

End of Financial Year Update

Job Status: My office has relocated and I have more work. But everything feels the same.
Gym workouts: I haven't done a thing. I think I'd be puffed going up more than one flit of stairs.
Family stuffs: My mum finally came over to my place. I've been here for 7 months and she finally made it here for lunch.
Hunk of the week: James Marsden. He's HOT and he's played a Prince.


Relationship Status: I can convincingly say I'm single. There isn't a guy in waiting. Not a casual bonk buddy. Not a boy in sight. I'm single.
Movies watched:
Shinobi - One of my nearest and dearest friends came over and brought this movie with him. It's Romeo and Juliet ninja style.
Full Metal Jacket - After seeing this movie. I am not a Kubrick fan . I have seen 4 of his works and only enjoyed one (slightly) I won't bother in future.
Coyote Ugly - After watching the above movie I needed some light chick flick. This hit the spot, good music and a cute guy. Low expectations. No disappointments.
Sex and the City - Just like almost every other girl in the world I saw Sex and the City, I didn't mind it. It wasn't as fast paced as the series and *I* don't believe the movie kept to the true natures of the characters. The fashion was great but not sensational.
3000 Miles to Graceland - Gangster-esque and ELVIS! Of course I'm going to love this bad movie. Especially since it has my favourite Elvis Presley song in it.
Goodfellas - No matter how many times I've seen this movie I'm always clued to the screen. The acting is sensational, the realism is depicted so brilliantly. One of the best movies in my humble opinion.
Little Black Book - A little trashy chick flick.
A Man Apart - This is not a good movie, I say not. But why was it so that I watched the whole thing? I couldn't resist. It was hypnotic. The terrible acting and script.
Almost Famous - I never understood why people raved about this movie. I enjoy it. But thats it. Music, acting, story, cinematography. What's not to like? It just doesn't 'touch me'
Primal Fear - Edward Norton at his greatest and I adored Richard Gere's performance. And, Frances McDormand, this is an actress that I never put into my top actress' category but she's fantastic. Almost Famous and Primal Fear, she's really great.
Reading: Nothing
Diet: I keep telling myself I need to improve my diet. I feel horrible and my clothes don't look as good as they should.
Alcohol consumption: I've been drinking alone. Drinking alone too much.
Song stuck in my mind: With complements 3000 Miles to Graceland





Quote of the week:

Look at this view!

Random Observation: Our office relocated as I mentioned and I swear most of my colleagues must not have ever seen the Harbour Bridge before. So many people commenting on the view.
Picture of the Week: I just love Erte work. Divine.


Money Spent: After the last 2 weeks I have successfully kept my credit card in my purse. Oh, except those comedy theatre sports tickets!

Sick of Being Sick

I've had a headache since Wednesday, been grumpy as a result. Now this cold / flu thing has taken a hold of me. Yesterday I didn't even get out of my PJ's and barely moved from the lounge and today I felt triumphant just having a shower. Now It's 10:45pm and I've slept so much today I don't want to go to bed but I'm tired, I'm exhausted, my nose is running, my head feels like it weighs 50kg. My flatmate bought me cold and flu tablets yesterday, they have taken the edge off however they are 'herbal'. Fuck herbal! I want the chemicals! I want drugs! I want this bug out of my system so life can resume as normal.

A Great Night

One of my most awesome friends R. came over last night for dinner. He came over armed with 2 bottles of wine, one red, one white because he didn't know what I'd be cooking for dinner. He also brought along a DVD Shinobi - it's catchphrase is 'Romeo and Juliette Ninja Style'. This is a boy that knows his way to my heart.



Ohhh just look at those swords!!!

The Baby Shower

Here is the invitation:

Ten little fingers, ten little toes
Boy or Girl, no one knows ...

For nap time, play time, change time and feeding
with a new born baby on the way .....
there are many new things that we will be needing!!

Nuff said.

Invitations

I sent out an invitation for the Jazz and Blues Festival that took place over the long weekend and said I'd be interested in listening to a few sax riffs and soulful voices on the Monday.

I had quite a few positive responses - it looked like there would be a dozen or so of us going. A big YAY!

Then... I received a message from one of the girls saying she was planning on going on Sunday.

Then... One of the guys said he's meeting friends there on Saturday.

I can't help it wonder why neither of them chose to invite me?

Best Spikey News

Women who wear high heels are better lovers.

Now where are those 4" spikes...?

I Can't Believe it Moment!

I was watching The Wrong Man this afternoon and there were references to North by Northwest and OMG when the movie finished guess what was on TV North by Northwest!!!

On The Prowl

There is nothing worse than the look of a desperate woman.

I went out with a couple of girlfriends, one of which has recently broken up with her boyfriend - who she wasn't that into.

Since she's "single" it appears it has given her the false conviction to prey on eligible bachelors.

I can sincerely say I was embarrassed by her behaviour... She met a man that night, however, not even a phone number exchange. Maybe he could smell her desperation?

Hmmm... Can men actually tell if a woman is on the prowl???

Guess What Today is...?

It's Rob's Birthday. This is best email from a friend who knows my too well:


Hey Babe


DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB,
DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB,
DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB,
DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB,
DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB,
DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB, DO NOT EMAIL ROB,

Is that enough????????????



It has been so far... :-)

Razzle Dazzle

Bye Bye Miss Fairy Tale. No more wanting to live in the fantasy world of a fairly tale.

Hello Miss Entertainment. All Razzle Dazzle, influenced by 1920's Chicago - hey, I always wanted to be a cabaret dancer!

I really didn't like being private. Defeated bloggy purpose didn't it...?

Calling All Markers

I like to believe I'm a relatively nice person. When I go away I ask if anyone would like something. If a friend requires an outfit for an occasion my wardrobe is open for their picking. I have an extensive DVD collection I'm happy to lend them to people...

Why the fuck do people take advantage of my generosity!?!?!?!

When I went to the Hunter Valley, not the last time - the time before I bought a couple of bottles for a friend. She didn't have the cash when I gave them to her... I'm still waiting.

I lent a friend a dress for Melbourne Cup. Yep, November. It's now April. Still waiting for it back.

A friend has some of my DVD's I gave them to her in January. I've asked for it back once. She forward lent. Someone. else. has. MY. stuff! I want it back now!

I'm now calling on all markers - I want all my belonging in my hot little hands right away.

* The term Markers is from Guys and Dolls

My Dramatic Departure

so you want the details of my dramatic departure from the argyle? now, you should know me well enough to be of the understanding i generally don't make a scene (disclaimer out of the way). the night was to be a casual affair with a few of my girlfriends, one of the girls had the relationship talk with her boyfriend, called me in tears, the relationship will be coming to an end as they both believe threes no 'happily ever after' - amicable and sensible in my humble opinion... she did the same to one of the other girls and it was concluded that we needed to take her out, get her drunk, have a great time and forget about the man. blah blah blah.... so, her behaviour was deplorable, as if she's the only girl in the world that has ever had a broken heart. the other girls were offering their undying support. i turned biter and the thought invades my mind 'where were my friends a few weeks ago when it came to fruition that the boy i like isnt into me...'. then another girl said she bumped into a married ex-boyfriend the day before who said he had been thinking about her - she was moping and asking the why questions, the friendly support and advice was endless 'ohhh what should she do'. once again, where was my support sept / oct last year when my married ex fiancé met me out said he wanted all this to be with me, he kissed me. my reaction was, thank g-d i dodged that bullet and after almost 5 years finally over the cheating prick... back at the table i make a snide remark asking if she is considering adultery. polished off my wine, picked up my fur (yes i had my fur shrug - enhanced the scene) and stormed out.

Quote...

When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew

It's. My. Life!

I finally got my butt into gear and made it to the Oncologist on Monday 21st January. The news. I’m clear of cancer. I have 10’s of cists I need to keep an eye on…. Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake… That day, hearing that I don’t have an imminent expiry date is the turn around. I just want to live while I'm alive!*

*Obviously Bon Jovi song influenced the above, I did go to the concert on that night

*****************************************************************

A phone call in the afternoon made my stomach sink. It was one of my mum’s work colleagues, my mum was taken to the Emergency Room due to abnormalities with her heart.

Mum is okay; she was out of hospital later that night. A blood clot in the lung, she was on a drippy thing and has medication. Instructions were to watch her diet and exercise a little more.

*****************************************************************

Not one of my friends enquired about my appointment on Monday. It’s not although my friends didn’t know. This is something that has been on my mind for months. A dark dark cloud hovering over my everyday actions, shadows behind my insincere smile.

I felt so alone. I still feel empty although I know I should be dancing and throwing my arms around with glee…

*****************************************************************

* Post been sitting in drafts....

Valentines Day

The day most of the population despise... Valentines Day.

Last year I ended up spending the night home watching bad TV and that was the only option, this year a totally different story. My options were as follows:

- Nice boy invited me over to his place for dinner
- Sweet navy boy invited me over. Lets face it that invitation was just for sex
- RR, my lover boy asked if I wanted to 'catch up' and a subsequent message asking if dinner and drinks in the city was convenient

I had spent the entire day (up at the crack of dawn in fact) up at the Hunter Valley with my cousins and dad. We went to approximately 8 vineyards, sipped various wines and had a delicious lunch at Enzo's (?)

We were on a kinda tight schedule, I wanted to be back in Sydney to meet my boy for dinner.

I met my boy at Bungalow 8, he had a long stem rose for me and a glass of wine sitting on the table for my arrival. He looks good in a suit. He had made a booking at I.Thai, he recreated our first date... I stayed with him all night, even though it was a school night. I gave him his little pressie, he liked. I also drove him to work the next morning.

The best Valentine's day / night I have in memory.

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is medium.In general, you prefer to have only one love interest. But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long! There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering. Experience Level: Your experience level is high. You've loved, lost, and loved again. You have had a wide range of love experiences. And when the real thing comes along, you know it! Dominance: Your dominance is low. This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced. You know a relationship is not about getting your way. And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom. Cynicism: Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is high. You don't need to be in love, and sometimes you don't even want love. Having your own life is very important for you... Even more important than having a relationship.

The Five Variable Love Test

That love test was a crock of shit!

The Highlights Didn't Stop!

+ Friday afternoon at a minute to 5 (damn early for me) I hopped, skipped and jumped into my car and drove the 3 - 4 minutes to my dad's place with much excitement.

As soon as I walked through the door Aranka and Michal gave me the biggest hug ever and we were all a bit teary eyed... I know it has been 2 and a half years, it feels like the longest time since we had seen each other on the same token it felt like we picked up where we left off.

Dinner was local at a little Japanese place where we shared many dishes and drank a few bottles of wine. Tried Green Tea Tiramisu (because we couldn't comprehend the green tea aspect of a chocolaty, coffee dessert - it was surprisingly good) My cousin and her husband were so surprised that us Aussie's can BYO grog into restaurants - I'd never thought of it before.

Due to the 40 hours of travelling for my cousins and my 'almost 55 hours' of working week we made it an early one to get a great energetic start to the next day.

+ Saturday I put on much more makeup than usual, in a subtle way of course... Michal is a happy snappy tourist here - its great for the memories, but I hate my photo being taken! I feel that my smile looks fake and I hate the contortionists positions to avoid my tummy sticking out of its hiding place.

+ Saturday 'meet my mum' day, we went to my old 'hood Bronte Beach for lunch at Swell - as it was the perfect weather for it, grey clouds, pouring rain, gusty wind and 21 degrees in summer! Lunch went swimmingly (we didn't) mother was on her best behaviour, we had delicious food shared a bottle of Australian wine and we didn't share our dessert, mum wouldn't have it that way.

+ That night I was supposed to go take the gang to see 2 Days in Paris at North Sydney Oval, once again the weather impeded my plans. My boy, my cousins and 2 of my greatest friends had a backup plan, dinner at New Orleans Cafe, I thought it would be the best plans with a live band playing in the background. Nup, no band for the night. I picked up my boy on the way through, a huge tightest of tight hug...

Dinner went as expected with the group of people in attendance. 2 of my girlfriends that direct their attention to any man thats in the proximity and dismissing all the other girls (in other words, D & L were competing for the attention of my boy and my cousins husband even though L is married and they both know my affections toward RR).

The biggest announcement for the night was L. is pregnant!

+ After dinner and a few drinks at a near by hotel (the venue I met my lover boy) I spent the rest of the night in his arms, snuggled and content.... After 6 weeks of his absence the little spark is still there. I'm happy.

+ Sunday we went into Chinatown for the New Year celebrations, I thought the parade commenced at 1pm, I was wrong. It started at 11. We got in a little early (in anticipation for a 1pm kickoff) and caught the tail end of the celebrations.

We spent a couple hours in the Chinese Gardens and Darling Harbour, the first time I've ever been there. We took many photos, drank Chinese tea for hours and caught up on the 2 and a half years past... That night we had a great dinner cooked by my dad which provided for dinner the next 2 nights while my cousins were in Canberra

Unstoppable Imagination on a Brilliant Day

The much anticipated day has come. My cousin and her husband arrived in Sydney at 8 this morning! I've been looking forward to this day ever since we said our farewells in May 2005... This is her first trip to Australia, my father and I have arranged a few specialities for their holiday. Dad is sending them to Melbourne for 3 days and I'm taking then to the Hunter Valley and going for a trip to climb the Harbour Bridge.

I didn't attend the airport this morning however much I wanted to. I've requested a few days off and I guess they would've been a little jet lagged and the only desire would be to settle in at dad's place and have a shower. I'll be going to dad's directly after work for dinner.

Only a few minutes ago my little phone sang its tune and RR! He got back from his south American expedition today. Smiling form ear to ear! After my attempt at witty reply and altogether trying not to sound overly excited my imagination ran wild.

... I went to the airport this morning to meet see my cousin who I haven't seen in 2 and a half years, it was me and my dad, we parked the car in the overpriced car park, walked over to the arrivals gates, past the Krispy Kreame donut stand each having an internal debate whether or not to purchase one then eagerly perused the arrivals board for their flight information.

It was determined that we have good time and waited at the gate for them to come through customs, this is when I see a familiar face, RR walks through the sliding door, he sees me a smile riddled with surprise and a devastating hint of horror... My excitement is still overwhelming as my cousins are about to walk out, RR is anxious I don't see it nor think anything of it and introduce him to my dad!

My cousin emerges from the door, I squeal with excitement, RR would realize at that precise moment it was just serendipitous timing and he scores getting a lift home with us - and I get a kiss that knocks me off my feet...

I'm looking forward to seeing my cousin, her husband and RR so much I'm whilling the minutes to speed by. Happy weekend everyone!!!

Chinese New Year

I had the absolute pleasure of joining Cibby and Rebecca welcoming the Chinese new year....

Many authentic Chinese dishes beautifully prepared by Bec's mum, toxic Chinese alcohol and later complemented by an interesting variety of tea - Bec performed a traditional (I think) tea ceremony and the night continued drinking tea and chatting.

It was a lovely night.

Happy New Year!

I Feel Like...

I'm making the same mistake over and over...

$5.30 Australia Day Long Weekend!

Friday night I had dinner at a friend’s parent’s house – absolutely delicious!

Saturday, I walked my sisters dog (I was house sitting / dog sitting) and then had a nap followed by a BBQ at a friends place. Wonderfully catered. That evening took the dog for another walk then watched a couple of movies with a friend – fox classics… One of my favourite movies too

Sunday I had a lazy start, with dog walking, breakfast making, then lunch at mum’s which lasted hours and a friends b’day party at the clock.

Monday: dog walking (dogs are such high maintenance!) breakfast cooking. I then headed off home for washing and cleaning as I hadn’t been there all week. Then a movie, American Gangster (where I bought a chocolate / mint drink for $5.30)

No drunken antics. No money spent on food or alcohol. I was home before I turned into a pumpkin each night.

Perfection.

Happy Anniversary

It’s officially 3 years of singldom. 3 years. I wanted to celebrate as so many other people celebrate their life choices. I was afraid of being judged. It’s not like I’m adverse to being in a relationship I’m adverse to being involved in a wrong relationship… I’m not going to settle.

As for a celebratory event I went out to lunch with one of my girlfriends from work. One that wont be judgemental and one I believe doesn’t have the interest to pass on gossip.

Happy Anniversary to me!

Simply Fancy

It was to be a simple evening. My plans to see Much Ado About Nothing fell through and I intended to spend a quite night at home... Approximately 11am Mr J. called me and said he had a spare ticket to a play at the Belvoir Theater. How could I say no?

He picked me up from home (after I had a couple of drinks with work) slightly tanked from the 3 glasses of wine we went straight into the theater. I did a google search to see what was on it was either an Aboriginal production or a play about people picking fruit. Both opening night.

We all know how much I enjoy live performances, I was thrilled at either.

When we arrived I was greeted warmly by Mr J's sister and her boyfriend. We were then advised there would be drinks and nibblies throughout the night - bonus!

We had a nice little spot leaning up against the table when I did a double take of a guy walking down the stairs, I recognised him. Obviously everybody else did, before I knew it there were cameras flashing and people gravitating toward him for a happy snap. I tapped Mr J on the shoulder and whispered 'who's that?' Peter Garret. Hmmmm... I don't get star struck, well so I thought. Cate Blanchett, how unbelievably beautiful she is (shorter than what I thought she would be). She's hugely pregnant but still walked with such grace. She brushed past me (literally, almost bumped into me). We also heard Christina Anu was there - we didn't see her though...

The 'stars' were there for Ngapartji Ngapartji and we were there for Simply Fancy. My review will be bias as after the show we were hanging out with Claudia and Charlie who are just awesome drinking and chasing waiters for food. SMH review:

It could be the first line of a bad joke: "A big-time theatre director is sitting at the bar when three amateur actors/directors/writers walk in …" It was, however, no joke for Nick Coyle, Claudia O'Doherty and Charlie Garber, of the start-up theatre crew Pig Island, when the Belvoir St Theatre head honcho Neil Armfield turned around from the bar and asked if they would like to restage their latest show, Simply Fancy, downstairs at Belvoir.

Coyle, O'Doherty and Garber were performing their self-penned, -directed and -acted play at the Old Fitz Theatre in Woolloomooloo in November last year when Armfield was a surprise guest for closing night. "Afterwards, we went into the bar and he was having a drink," O'Doherty told SiT. "We had met him before so we went up to talk to him … he seemed to like the show and he asked if we would bring the show to Belvoir."

Last year the group won Best Independent Production at the 2007 Melbourne International Comedy Festival with The Glass Boat; this year they hope to do the same with Simply Fancy, a surreal comedy about a family trying to find fruit for a birthday. After meeting at Sydney University in 2003, the group wrote and produced their first play, The October Sapphire, in 2004, performed it at small theatres around Sydney in 2005 and took it to the New York Fringe Festival in 2006.

"We wanted to act and produce original plays," Garber said of forming the group, adding that being self-directed allowed them to make changes to the script and performance, if they all agreed. "We have disagreements," O'Doherty said, "but they never come to blows." After opening on Friday in the downstairs theatre, Simply Fancy plays at Belvoir until February 3.

It was such an enjoyable night. I'm so wrapped Mr J asked me along.

Quote of 2007

Remember, you said no one night stands. So, do it twice.

Vikki