The Evil Within...

Which Warrior Angel are You and Whose Side are You On? (With Anime Pics)

WatcherClass: ArchangelAlliance: DarkYou are a cunning and sly person who can be a bit manipulative at times. You know just how to get what you want out of people. Your role would be Watcher. You would be the one working at corrupting the people on earth. Watching for moments of weakness to slip in and plant black thoughts in their hearts. An easy job with your silver tongue.Your Angelic Name: Zarael
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Winter...

I really hate the cold but at least I can wear my Cacharel cardigan:

Why Did I Do It?

I was sent a little self made quiz from J, it was a fantastic little test to see how well your friends know you... I got 70% who knew she always wanted to learn Swedish?!?!

I decided to prepare one myself, I sent it to everyone in my hotmail address book. Including my ex-boyfriend, oops. No, this is my blog, I can be honest, I sent it to him with full knowledge. He completed it yesterday 27%, but I looked at his answers - 3 years ago, when we were together it would have been true. I did prefer to stay in on a Saturday night and watch DVD's snuggled into him and eat pizza. He did however get my middle name wrong Grrrrr...

He has once again invaded my thoughts and dreams...

Have a go at my quiz and then create your own!

My Introduction to Fashion Week

I love this time of year Mercedes Australian Fashion Week, I can get all dressed up for no reason other than letting my great little 'outfits' see the light of day. Fishnets today (see post below).

I met J. for a quick $9 glass of red at Longrain yesterday afternoon for a de-brief on her first major fashion parade and of course a little sneaky peak into her goodie bag. I scored the latest Mercedes-Benz catalogue to dream over, a little box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates and an extended invitation to join her on Saturday afternoon for my first major fashion parade. So excited! Now. What to wear?

Random Observation

While wearing fish net stockings, crossing your legs leaves little square indentations over the leg. This observation of my leg right now gives new meaning to 'thinking outside the square'.

Always the Ones you Don't Want????

Spiritual_ChatterBox says:

"just FUCK me miss N, you are so gorgeous and sexy you drive me wild with lust and passion and NO this is not a line, and no Im not sex starved, I am very in demand, lol... and no this is not about a notch on my gun, this is about a real sexual spiritual connection that blow your mind, mwah"

Words...

... 'maybe some other time' his words cut right through me, my eyes shot open, I stopped kissing the nape of his neck, my hands paused over his chest, every muscle in my body tensed, I moved away from his body slowly... It's over before it ever began.

We have been flirting for months, a couple of 'good night kisses'. Word across the school yard was that he liked me, for the first time as a recent singleton I felt zest. The novelty didn't disappear, I was excitable. I was told through friends of friends that he's shy, he won’t make the first move - I advised them 'ladies don't make the first move'.

We were at the same function again a couple weeks ago, the usual witty repartee I desire. The flirtatious manner we both exude when in each others company, I catch myself with my eyes fixed on his that little longer.

He was invited to join at the Doncaster Race Day last week, he declined due to expense of the day and work commitments, I took the huge step (little crack in the window really) I replied to a message insinuating I'm free should he wish to ask. Nothing... I found sunnies in my car; I knew they were his due to the recent slump of having men in my car, another opportunity should he wish to take advantage. Nothing...

He was at the birthday party on Monday night; we talked for hours the same provocative, flirtatious manner as our last few meetings. Lots of laughing, lots of drinking - I told him of my embarrassing Bon Jovi story, no judgment. A small group moved on to The Columbian, there were few women as expected, he asked me if I was checking out any of the guys, the alcohol made me do it, I kissed him, I thought it was the most appropriate response, he said, wait until we leave, I felt slightly pushed, but fair enough, it is a guy club.

We jumped in a cab within seconds kissing, caressing, our breaths shallow, he kisses my neck and a tingle took over my body, he ran his hand through my hair and pulled me closer for a passionate deeper kiss, we looked into each others eyes intensely, I kissed the nape of his neck and whispered 'I want to go to bed with you'...

My Outrageous Eccentric Purchase

Mousquetaire Opera Gloves, in black naturally...

I have always loved the look how beautiful women presented themselves in 1940-1950. I've been dying to try it myself, a great little investment at $27.00 now I need to find the most suitable outfit to complement my new long gloves.

Photo's from: For The Loves Of Opera Gloves

+ Traditionally, opera gloves should not be put on in public, but should be donned in the privacy of one's home before going out.
+ If you remove your opera gloves, you should not take them off in a way that calls undue or seductive attention to the process (unless, of course, you are attempting to seduce the viewer!)
+ Your gloves should be kept on when shaking hands (e.g., in a reception line) or when dancing.
+ Gloves may also be worn while drinking, though care must be exercised not to spill liquids on them, especially when the gloves are made of kidskin or some other delicate leather. It is better to remove, or partially remove them, when practicable.
+ When you sit down to dinner, you should take off your gloves, and put them back on when dinner is over.
+ The basic rule as to length of gloves may be defined as follows: the shorter the sleeve, the longer the glove. Opera gloves are, therefore, properly worn with sleeveless or short-sleeved dresses or strapless, sleeveless (with straps) or short-sleeved evening gowns.
+ Black opera gloves should not be worn with white or light-colored dresses or gowns, but can be worn with black, dark-colored or bright-colored clothing.
+ "When putting on Her gloves, the Lady should work in the hand from the wrist, then gradually smooth the glove up the arm, rather than pulling from the top. Gloves are worn during the cocktail hour, at least the right glove removed entirely while dining, then worn again for the remainder of the evening (or night!) A Lady does not remove Her glove when shaking hands nor when presenting Her hand to be kissed. It is now very permissible to wear rings and/or a bracelet over one's glove."

ANZAC Day Long Weekend

Friday night
I finished work 5:00pm on the dot. Met J. for a quick drink at The Shakespeare Hotel in Strawberry Hills, a must to go back to for the $5 steaks and Sticky Date Pudding.

For dinner I was invited to celebrate I’s 28th birthday with her family, my first Shabbat Dinner as more than half my friends are Jewish I’m thrilled to have finally attended. The customs are beautiful and the food was glorious, included was Matzah Ball Soup- Yummo

Saturday
Hairdresser appointment. I did the BIG CHOP. Yep, I had 4" taken off and a dark brownish/red put though, 4 hours later I emerged from reading various fashion magazines all inspired for a new look, the shopping god's were on my side.

Saturday night dinner at Maggie's at Potts Point for JY's 35th birthday, lots of Lanson Black Label Champagne. Lots of food and drinks - my tummy was sticking out of it’s hiding place.

Sunday
One of those fantastic day's, started with J making eggs on cocotte for breakfast, followed by shopping in the city, coffee at QVB Tea Room, more shopping, a glass of bubbly at Maroubra Bay Hotel. Dinner at Grandfather's Moustache in Rose Bay - one of those rare wonderful unplanned day's...

Monday
I was lucky to have the extra day off work YAY! I don't know what had come over me, I needed to buy more clothes and CD's. WBJ loved me. I had a welcome break, well my credit card did having R. join me for a coffee.

Monday night was I and L's birthday party at Opera Bar, all dressed up in my new clothes, way too much red wine and a few of us kicked on to The Columbian Hotel - I should have gone home to bed.

ANZAC Day - Tuesday
Waking up with a horrendous hang over, I made it to the lounge and feel asleep again. Damn it. At 2:00pm was on my way to the traditional footy match Roosters v Dragons, emotionally fulfilled by the pre-game ANZA tribute Unfortunately the game was not as fulfilling. 2-up was next on the agenda, Paddington Inn didn't cater and we were cornered by a horrible group of loud mouthed pomies and called it a night.

Is it Wrong to Sleep with a Man to Fulfil a Fantasy?

A little while ago Indy wrote about fantasies, how he would like “a woman who wants to revel in her sexuality and sensuality”.

Why are fantasies for most men immediately associated with being sexual? Ask women and you'll usually hear them say a fireman rescuing them from a towering blaze (not going into the psychology of that one).

My ultimate sexual fantasy in my former life as a property manager was to be conducting an open house inspection, meeting a tall dark and handsome young man and showing around the property and my body… This little fantasy of mine almost became a reality - I have dated 2 tenants (didn’t sleep with either of them but they did fulfil another fantasy, male model and a man in uniform).

I spoke to a couple of girlfriends about their fantasies, both the man in his entirety and purely on a sexual level, the one that stands out the most was when M described her ideal man, every single attribute she described my past loves have had – why wasn’t that enough for me?

Is my fantasy of 'one day' meeting Prince Charming equal the inevitable possibility of never being satisfied? Could it be that every time I go to bed with a man, is a fantasy? That each time I’m on some level fantasising this man is ‘the one’ or ‘my prince charming’?

Giddy up!

The Doncaster race day, Julia and I all dolled up, wearing classic racing attire. I got my hot little hands on 2 free tickets, unfortunately for peasants paddock! It’s just not the same as members, can’t buy champers by the bottle, the champagne flutes are plastic and the girls are dressed like they are going to a cocktail party!

We needed a breathe of fresh air and another vantage point to be the fashion police, we went out to the “meeting tree” an older sophisticated gentleman approached us with 2 tickets to the members area, in utter disbelief we accepted graciously but didn’t get his name. Thank you mister member!

I didn’t back a winner all day, my horse picking skills are not anything to be desired, I choose based on whether I’ve heard of the trainer or jockey, if not – which horse has the largest hind legs…

After the races and a few glasses of bubbly (yep, we bought a bottle in members section and had real glasses) we partied on at Double Bay with another bottle of champers in tow. Drunkity Drunk Drunk…

Stepping out of my Comfort Zone…

Ever see that girl dancing on the scarcely populated dance floor waving her hands freely in the air, not dancing but just moving with the music the way you could only imagine her dancing alone in the comfort of her own lounge room, she is handed a tambourine from a luscious younger man, she holds it, shakes it, the joy, bliss and elation radiates from her the way it did a year ago. This girl was me.

I ended the night with a pash from Mr Tambourine man on the dance floor, didn’t even care to find out his name. Bob? Dylan?

Happy Easter (and it was)

My sister and nephew came over for Easter dinner, an early dinner. I let my guard down, took a deep breathe and let the evening take its course.

My sister and I haven’t spoken since 4th March, her birthday, my attempt for a nice sisterly relation, she is 10 years older than me and I’m sticking to the childish attitude of:

“She’s the older one, she should make the effort”

She didn’t call me before my operation, no well wishes of any sort. Am I being petty?

My love of art and my top 5 favourite painter

Who Should Paint You: Pablo Picasso

Your an expressive soul who shows many emotions, with many subtleties Only a master painter could represent your glorious contradictions

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

Work and Play

Your Power Level is: 83%

You have all the tools you need to be a success - both professionally and personally. You'll probably go beyond reaching your goals. You'll change the world (at least a little).

How Powerful Are You?

Why!?!

In my most petulant little brat like stamping feet, WHY!

I want to see La Traviata Verdi's masterpiece of all masterpieces. The only scheduled performance is in Melbourne. Melbourne! Why would Opera Australia do that?

I go to the opera at Sydney Opera House a for a reason. It's the best Opera House in Australia, I wont even contemplate flying to Melbourne for the night. I wont stand for it! Okay, I have thought about it, but if I'm traveling anywhere for an opera its going to be Scala in Milano (been there) or Fenice, Venice.

I'm officially disappointed. I'm almost pleading for a scheduled performance in Spring...

Personal DNA

My Personal Dna Report

Friday Night – Celebratory Dinner

Wore: Black low cut top (so excited, the first day I wore a bra since my operation) Roberto Cavalli skirt, 3.5” black strappy high heels and Gianfranco Ferre handbag complimented by all my best gold jewellery

I have crossed another item of my “to do list” I went for dinner at Bistro Moore at The Olympic Hotel. It was fantastic! A glass of champers to begin Vongole with chilli for entree followed by mouth watering John Dory fillets for main after a short break and time to polish off the bottle of red affogato al caffe for dessert.

The crowd dispersed and we went to the Cross in search of Lady Lux for a drink, neither of us had the address and weren't in the frame of mind to ask anyone at the cross for directions. We found our selves with complmentry entry and "drink on arrival" for Dragonfly. The only positive was a big hug and kiss from U. who is working at the door, a model from the UK; he told me last year he had an erotic dream about me, the alcohol and anti-bitoics taking effect I propositioned J. for a reoccurrence of my birthday celebrations. We felt old, surrounded by 18 and 19 year old and left without finishing our drinks and called it a night until we were escorted to Safire Lounge for free entry, gotta love free entry when all you need is to use the venues facilities, happy and slightly intoxicated we left the Cross wondering where do people our age go? When did the cross become a popular distination for teenagers?

Random Quote from Mother # 1

You really have to do something with your hair, you look so Eastern European

Night and Day

Hot after my results, I jumped in my car off to Batemans Bay with my manager, a few meetings to attend on the Thursday.

+ When attending a seafood restaurant, even if the cravings are overwhelming, I will never order the "token steak" on the menu.
+ In a meeting with 7 men the language is "toned down for me" and yet one guy still stormed out of the meeting like a petulant spoilt brat. (Later advised this is his regular behavior)
+ On the way home I had the BEST meat pie from The Rainbow Pie Shop, Milton.
+ I attended the most laid back almost relaxing meeting with an old farmer and his wife whom offered us tea. (so cute!)
+ My boss said to me "You have no emotion" and "I don't think you should share a unit" and "Ha! You shouldn't ever have kids" he has only known me a couple months, it took an ex-boyfriend 4 years to work it out!

Prognosis

Just came back from my specialist appointment - the result neurofibroma. Benign tumor. I don't have cancer!

Reflection. Appreciation. Consideration. Deliberation. Celebration.

After the last couple of weeks I’ve endured, I wanted nothing more than to spend time away from home (not including time spent at work) a factor I needed to take into consideration, I didn’t want to be around people generally.

Thursday and Friday nights alone at the flicks
I had 2 pre-paid movie tickets due to expire on the 31st March and the time was slipping away from me. I decided to go to the movies alone. I’m not a stranger to solo-flicks however I usually go on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon as a time-filler. It was not the daunting experience I thought it would be… I saw Inside Man on Thursday and Walk the Line on Friday, true it was the 6:30pm session on Friday, I wouldn’t attend a 9:00pm alone partially due to the safety risk of getting back to my car at the end. (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it).

To rent or to buy
That is the question. Saturday morning I was running around from rental property to rental property, suburbs varied in demographics dramatically and distances between appointments were approximately 20 minutes apart I starred out the window at one stage and thought “I don’t know what I’m doing”. It was only September / October last year I was looking to purchase a property all on my own and it was achievable, then came my 2nd retrenchment for the year followed by “temp work” technically unemployed for 3 months. My dream had been postponed and if I look at it honestly, purchasing is not in the foreseeable future. But do I actually want to postpone the purchase for a further extended period?

After inspecting too many horrible, sub-standard properties we stopped for lunch (at 4:00pm) at a new Mexican joint in Rozelle, we shared numerous Mexican delicacies, including a jug of Sangria, I noted I hadn’t consumed any alcohol in 11 days and I remembered previous post in February where I was proud of myself for avoiding alcohol for 4 consecutive days?

Saturday night
True to current unfortunate form, I didn’t want to go out anywhere on Saturday night, the idea of bumping into (literally bumping into) any person the consequential pain would be too much to bare. I decided to stay home and watch Flight Plan and The Constant Gardner. I was totally content with my decision until I stepped back and deliberated over the fact no-one has contacted me inviting me out. In some fucked up way it made me upset even though prior to this one thought I was utterly content.

Michelle and Terry's engagement party
Sunday was the big engagement party for M and T, kick off was 5:30pm, Julia had organised the present and very kind to drive me up to St Ives. There were to my quick calculation over 180 people in attendance, later advised there were almost 400! The present table for overflowing with gifts from numerous home ware stores all typical, we spent a good part of the party with the Sicilian in-laws at an Israeli / South African gathering. Monique and Russel announced their engagement on the night and a small part of me wonders if they intentionally wanted to steal the spotlight? On farewells Michelle gave me the biggest hug and I froze, the pain shot through my body in a way I can not, do not want to explain, we looked at each other, she realised and tears started to swell in our eyes, surrounded by a few onlookers with quizzical looks as we starred at each other so intensely. I do love that girl!

Apparently before the speeches, before the main bulk of guests arrived T asked M “since all our friends, family are here tonight and the R, do you want to do it tonight, get married, right here, now?” I would have jumped at the option, however they decided to “do it the right way”.

Back to the norm on Monday, trying not to think too much about Wednesday. Today. 1:15pm today. My appointment to get my results. My concentration is inferior, I keep saying to myself “this to shall pass” and look forward to the future, when I will be me, just me again.

Monday night M. called me to apologise for the hug and brief me on the main events of the night before. Shock at one comment by our mutual friend “was I happy enough for you tonight”. A huge laugh at her letting “the ring” slip off her finger. The all important question for me “can I ask you something, can I give you a job for the next few months? If my life is consumed with weddings, family and the dress can you make me aware of it? I don’t want to be one of those brides. You’re my only (gotta get this right) cut throat blunt friend that will tell me the truth”. We were talking for almost 2 hours and I wonder why talk to me for that long? She received 4 calls on her mobile in this duration, I’m no-one when it comes to the wedding, she has 6 bridesmaids to talk to and she choose me *eyes watering with happiness*

Last night I met J. and had a much needed chat, a drink and gentle hug. We are both different people from what we were this time last year, I can’t help, it’s so selfish of me, I’m happy that she broke up with her boyfriend last year – our friendship is on a level of such significance, it could never have been reached should the circumstances been different. I'm myself, all my flaws visible, its all on the table when I’m with her, I can only hope and wish to one day stumble across a man that I can truly be me. J. if you were a man I would marry you! Mwah!

What next...?

The Ab-Maker...

Blog Styling

I did say to myself I wouldn't do anymore of thes "blog things" but when I stumble across this one - hey, why not it's my blog anyway!

Your Blogging Type is Unique and Avant Garde

You're a bit ... unusual. And so is your blog. You're impulsive, and you'll often post the first thing that pops in your head. Completely uncensored, you blog tends to shock... even though that's not your intent. You tend to change your blog often, experimenting with new designs and content.

What's Your Blogging Personality?