A little while ago Indy wrote about fantasies, how he would like “a woman who wants to revel in her sexuality and sensuality”.
Why are fantasies for most men immediately associated with being sexual? Ask women and you'll usually hear them say a fireman rescuing them from a towering blaze (not going into the psychology of that one).
My ultimate sexual fantasy in my former life as a property manager was to be conducting an open house inspection, meeting a tall dark and handsome young man and showing around the property and my body… This little fantasy of mine almost became a reality - I have dated 2 tenants (didn’t sleep with either of them but they did fulfil another fantasy, male model and a man in uniform).
I spoke to a couple of girlfriends about their fantasies, both the man in his entirety and purely on a sexual level, the one that stands out the most was when M described her ideal man, every single attribute she described my past loves have had – why wasn’t that enough for me?
Is my fantasy of 'one day' meeting Prince Charming equal the inevitable possibility of never being satisfied? Could it be that every time I go to bed with a man, is a fantasy? That each time I’m on some level fantasising this man is ‘the one’ or ‘my prince charming’?
Why are fantasies for most men immediately associated with being sexual? Ask women and you'll usually hear them say a fireman rescuing them from a towering blaze (not going into the psychology of that one).
My ultimate sexual fantasy in my former life as a property manager was to be conducting an open house inspection, meeting a tall dark and handsome young man and showing around the property and my body… This little fantasy of mine almost became a reality - I have dated 2 tenants (didn’t sleep with either of them but they did fulfil another fantasy, male model and a man in uniform).
I spoke to a couple of girlfriends about their fantasies, both the man in his entirety and purely on a sexual level, the one that stands out the most was when M described her ideal man, every single attribute she described my past loves have had – why wasn’t that enough for me?
Is my fantasy of 'one day' meeting Prince Charming equal the inevitable possibility of never being satisfied? Could it be that every time I go to bed with a man, is a fantasy? That each time I’m on some level fantasising this man is ‘the one’ or ‘my prince charming’?
13 comments:
I had a lover who got close enough to my heart to allowed me to revel in my sexuality and sensuality, and it was wonderful in his arms. Both of us were able to voice our fantasies and both of us were delighted in the outcome - and have more than a few giggles along the way. It was just other things in the rest of our lives that left us incompatible.
Fantasy and reality seldom co-exist.
The man you fantasise about may be perfect on one level, but will inevitable be flawed in some other aspect.
You can fantasise or gloss over flaws if the rest of him is "perfect", but how long will that last before the facade begins to crack. Your choice will be to accept the flaw and forsake Prince Charming in his entirety, or move on in the wan hope of meeting him.
Or could it be the other way round? One day, meeting someone you're so much in tune with, that all of Him becomes your fantasy?
I think that no matter what you think you seek in a partner, there will always be something that is missing as nobody can be all things.
There is, however, one small thing that'll point out when your Prince Charming has arrived. When you know their failings and weakpoints, when you can see all their dreaded flaws and you really don't care as you see more of the things you love about them to eclipse the negatives and they feel the same toward you, then the princess has found her prince.
And that reality beats fantasy any day.
mia - I had one too, I was engaged to him. I worked out he loved my strength but he ultimately wanted a woman to 'stand by her man' I happily would, I then found myself compromising my life not just a few little things I enjoy
nick - 'The man you fantasise about may be perfect on one level, but will inevitable be flawed in some other aspect.' It's such a true statement and I do need a man who complements my flaws...
faltenin - Welcome! I'm longing for that moment, be in sync with another and live happily ever after...
Dusty - There will always be something missing, I know this (sometimes I think too well) I'm not wishing for perfection, perfection is potentially boring. Its character that differentiates the man - I want the reality, the raw love...
I think it's an incredible turn-on when a woman explores her fantasies... some women are so secure with their sexuality that they're uninhibited with their desires. I love it!
Natalie, slick blog. Can you send me an email at cibbyp at yahoo dot ca? I'd like to discuss your blog and blogging!
Once you enact the fantasy, is it still a fantasy? Doesn't become a reality and the two shall always differ?
You friend may still be searching for hers, while you've experienced it and you're looking for something different.
cibbuano - You say some, does that mean few? Just curious...
C.B. - I want reality, I don't live in a fairytale and don't belive in 'soul mates' I would really just like to meet a man (one day) that I know I will enjoy his company - and of course if my prince charming comes along and sweeps me off my feet I wont say no ;-)
I dated my real estate agent that sold my house last year...Iderved it after the commision I had to pay :)
PS: I still think about her but we are both single parents and it was a real hassle..I may give her a call
My white charger is with the farrier until Monday being re-shod, and I've got three damsel's in distress to rescue from dragons - can I come by say, Thursday?
Hmmmm
Interesting question.
To me the fantasy is always empty, it will always need more to make it satisfying. Now you couple it with love and affection and you may have a winner.
But even then there is a level of unreality to it. A fantasy is an escape, a flight of fancy a wish.
When you find that right man Natalie the fantasies that you've held will pale in comparison. Of that I have little doubt;)
when I say some, do I mean few?
Yes, in my experience! I grew up in a pretty conservative place, and many of the girls I dated were really insecure with their sexuality. Of course, that was a long time ago - probably by now, they've opened up.
I think the same is true for guys. Many of us are pretty rigid in our ideas of sex - yes, once it's become mainstream, we'll get all over it, for example, anal sex.
But a lot of the guys that I've played sports with seem to be distinctly single-minded on their view on sex.
I'm with Nick on this one, I'm afraid. Too many people focus on the flaws in a relationship.
For a fantasy-fling, sure, pick what you want and drop the rest. :-) haha
But a relationship is about compromise, understanding, and connection. Someone could have Prince Charming right in front of them, but be too greedy or ignorant to realise it. It happens all too often.
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