No, it’s not a bondage thing, there is a Thai store in my local area by that name and we purchased liquor from the Liq Her store
The weekend went by in a drunken/hang over blur, here’s a list of events and/or conversations that entertained many of us over the weekend.
The weekend went by in a drunken/hang over blur, here’s a list of events and/or conversations that entertained many of us over the weekend.
UPDATE: I've been made aware that there was a considerable amount of judgement passed on me with the content of this post, the randomness I found entertaining others have not and questions have been asked. I regretfully feel the need to justify my actions to prevent further ridicule...
+ ‘Wait, I’m talking to you, I’m not finished.’
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+ ‘Typical I met an eastern suburbs electrical engineer and he’s younger and shorter than me’
+ ‘You have cuddly legs’
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+ I can’t believe guys actually do that? Leave a girl in the middle of the night and not say goodbye? Seriously he couldn’t wait til the morning?
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+ ‘Are you a normal girl? You’re sure you’re not a psycho?’
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+ I can’t believe guys actually do that? Leave a girl in the middle of the night and not say goodbye? Seriously he couldn’t wait til the morning?
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+ ‘Are you a normal girl? You’re sure you’re not a psycho?’
+ A woman bought that wedding dress in a size 18. She is getting married! A guy wants to wake up to that everyday for the rest of his life! why are we still single? She was a bridezilla too!
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+ He went to some pub out in Parra, picked up a stray slapper and so did his mate, so I guess if you want to get some skank you just go out there. Oh, isn’t that where you met that guy you had your one nighter?
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+ She is so precious! Really, as if you would get that upset about a friend getting married 3 weeks before you do?
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+ I only slept with him once, why would he stop me in the street to say hello? I was quite happy to just continue on my way.
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+ ‘I’m not drinking anymore’ hold up my glass ‘I’m not drinking any less either’
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+ Are my legs hurting from the Bronte to Bondi walk or from the night before?
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+ I know we are supposed to be on a diet and the walk was a good start but I could so do a coffee and cake.
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+ ‘I didn’t know what a ‘pearl necklace’ was until I was *insert age*’
‘I wouldn’t mind a pearl necklace’
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+ ‘I can’t believe guys actually ask ‘when was the last time you were with a man’
‘What did you say?’
‘I said ‘too long’ I think it’s all open for interpretation 5 months or 5 hours depending on your perception of too long.’
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+ Why should I leave? I’m only going to flop on my couch and do the same thing.
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+ ‘You are joking! We all went to the same school but finished in different years and can’t remember each other?’
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+ ‘Ha! Do you remember the guys in the year above we had crushes on back at school, *insert names*?’
‘Of course! Do you remember when *insert name* pushed you off the wall and he and his friends ran up the street like a herd of elephants!’
‘Yep, well I think it was one of the friends last night’
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+ Is it wrong to text message a guy and ask if he’s circumcised? I don’t think I’ve ever seen one that’s not…
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+ Why is it men choose to wake you by putting their arms around you and touching your stomach, it’s an inopportune time, I’m not sucking in my tummy in some contortionist’s position?
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+ Damn it, I was in between waxing appointments!
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+ Well you know *insert name*? I kinda have a thing for his dad, yeah I know I’ve slept with him. Father and son…? Oh, I have issues.
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+ Hmmmm… You do realise we have been looking at wedding dresses for over an hour and I can’t even find a guy I want to have a second date with?
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+ ‘Why do you wear tight jeans?’ ‘You like the attention?’
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+ Why couldn’t I be like Miranda from SATC when she hooks up with Steve the bar tender?
"Can I get your phone number?"
"Why?" she asks.
"So I can ask you for a date," he explains.
Miranda's voice is thick with sarcasm as she tells him, "You don't have to make believe you're going to call."
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+ On Friday night when I cooked for *insert name* why did I fell like jumping him all night?
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+ ‘We really have to lift our man standards.’
‘We can only go up from here’
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+ I like girth, he didn’t have girth
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+ ‘Yeah, I’m still getting texts from *insert name*, I don’t care but I wish they didn’t come through before 8.00am, I can’t handle booty calls first thing in the morning’
‘But I thought you said you like ‘morning glory”?’
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+ I couldn’t imagine anything worse then 6 bridesmaids all about a size 14-16 wearing purple! I get visuals of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory when Violet turns violet and gets rolled out to be squeezed!
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+ When you read about one of the women a guy has dated/shagged and now expresses interest in you and wonder if I come across or fall into the same category as erm… That... Charming…
Disclaimer: Everything is written in the first person but may not have necessarily been my actions or words
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+ He went to some pub out in Parra, picked up a stray slapper and so did his mate, so I guess if you want to get some skank you just go out there. Oh, isn’t that where you met that guy you had your one nighter?
*****************************************************************
+ She is so precious! Really, as if you would get that upset about a friend getting married 3 weeks before you do?
*****************************************************************
+ I only slept with him once, why would he stop me in the street to say hello? I was quite happy to just continue on my way.
*****************************************************************
+ ‘I’m not drinking anymore’ hold up my glass ‘I’m not drinking any less either’
*****************************************************************
+ Are my legs hurting from the Bronte to Bondi walk or from the night before?
*****************************************************************
+ I know we are supposed to be on a diet and the walk was a good start but I could so do a coffee and cake.
*****************************************************************
+ ‘I didn’t know what a ‘pearl necklace’ was until I was *insert age*’
‘I wouldn’t mind a pearl necklace’
*****************************************************************
+ ‘I can’t believe guys actually ask ‘when was the last time you were with a man’
‘What did you say?’
‘I said ‘too long’ I think it’s all open for interpretation 5 months or 5 hours depending on your perception of too long.’
*****************************************************************
+ Why should I leave? I’m only going to flop on my couch and do the same thing.
*****************************************************************
+ ‘You are joking! We all went to the same school but finished in different years and can’t remember each other?’
*****************************************************************
+ ‘Ha! Do you remember the guys in the year above we had crushes on back at school, *insert names*?’
‘Of course! Do you remember when *insert name* pushed you off the wall and he and his friends ran up the street like a herd of elephants!’
‘Yep, well I think it was one of the friends last night’
*****************************************************************
+ Is it wrong to text message a guy and ask if he’s circumcised? I don’t think I’ve ever seen one that’s not…
*****************************************************************
+ Why is it men choose to wake you by putting their arms around you and touching your stomach, it’s an inopportune time, I’m not sucking in my tummy in some contortionist’s position?
*****************************************************************
+ Damn it, I was in between waxing appointments!
*****************************************************************
+ Well you know *insert name*? I kinda have a thing for his dad, yeah I know I’ve slept with him. Father and son…? Oh, I have issues.
*****************************************************************
+ Hmmmm… You do realise we have been looking at wedding dresses for over an hour and I can’t even find a guy I want to have a second date with?
*****************************************************************
+ ‘Why do you wear tight jeans?’ ‘You like the attention?’
*****************************************************************
+ Why couldn’t I be like Miranda from SATC when she hooks up with Steve the bar tender?
"Can I get your phone number?"
"Why?" she asks.
"So I can ask you for a date," he explains.
Miranda's voice is thick with sarcasm as she tells him, "You don't have to make believe you're going to call."
*****************************************************************
+ On Friday night when I cooked for *insert name* why did I fell like jumping him all night?
*****************************************************************
+ ‘We really have to lift our man standards.’
‘We can only go up from here’
*****************************************************************
+ I like girth, he didn’t have girth
*****************************************************************
+ ‘Yeah, I’m still getting texts from *insert name*, I don’t care but I wish they didn’t come through before 8.00am, I can’t handle booty calls first thing in the morning’
‘But I thought you said you like ‘morning glory”?’
*****************************************************************
+ I couldn’t imagine anything worse then 6 bridesmaids all about a size 14-16 wearing purple! I get visuals of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory when Violet turns violet and gets rolled out to be squeezed!
*****************************************************************
+ When you read about one of the women a guy has dated/shagged and now expresses interest in you and wonder if I come across or fall into the same category as erm… That... Charming…
Disclaimer: Everything is written in the first person but may not have necessarily been my actions or words
9 comments:
but may not have necessarily been my actions or words
ooooook, but it sounds like somebody did some linear lambada... :P
Love your disclaimer, Nat! ;)
You could write a post on each one of those points! I don't even know where to start commenting, texting a guy to ask if he's circumcised is just as bad as him asking when was the last time you were with a man!
Are women's dress sizes different in Australia than the US. I cannot seem to put into perspective either with European or US standards.
Size 14 is already a two man tent, size 18 must be 3 ring circus?
GB - A few people did :-P
cBabe - My disclaimer is true, I couldn't have got up to that much mischief by myself ;-) and no, I wont do a post on each of those points...
David - You're right there, XXL baby and it was one of the larger girls laughing about herself.
sounds like you and your friends have a one-track mind. I'd like to remind you that men are not sexual objects for your casual pleasure.
We have feelings. We are people, too.
Are any of your friends hot?
Cibby, over the weekend, yes we did (okay not limited to the weekend, but I like to play that one)
What do you mean men aren't sexual objects???
You mister should behave... any of my friends hot... yep!
I like that liquor store on Oxford. I've never bought anything there, but I like the regional-specific pun. 'Liq her'... heh heh...
"A woman bought that wedding dress in a size 18. She is getting married! A guy wants to wake up to that everyday..."
Nat, i read this the other day and haven't been able to stop thinking about it. It's really a very nasty comment... tell me it wasn't you who said that??? Us girls need to stick together, not bring each other down!
No, that one wasn't me.
My single girlfriend said it, she is a wedding dress designer, she herself is a larger lady size 14-16 (one that will be in the purple bridesmaid dresses) she makes jokes about her own weight but finds it hard to land herself a man. jealousy stricks occasionally and the large woman in the brides dress wasn't a nice person - bad perception of me while i'm in point form.
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