Getting to know all about you… Getting to like you… Getting to hope you like me… The King & I
The getting to know you better chit chat. We have all been there at one time or another, the first encounter, that first date, those first few words spoken. It’s usually ‘the same old getting to know you’ 5 bullshit questions:
- What’s your name?
- What do you do?
- Where do you live?
- How old are you?
- Do you come here often?
Confession, I’m no good at this.
Especially the age question *mental note, confirm age* I start with my name, the polite but coy smile, slight tilt of the head and I try not to, but, the flick of my hair. Stereotypical? Yes.
Over the past few weeks I’ve met a few boys/men and I’m usually with my girlfriends, most of the time I sit back and observe, well I have no choice as the boys approach my friends before me… True story: I was out with a urmmm close friend when I was 19, MFL left me for another girl, we where at The Burdekin (when it was cool) and my urmmm close friend said to our mutual friend, ‘all the guys come up to me, when I reject them they go to N’ – lovely little nugget that one is, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, unfortunately this was said at one of my lowest points of self esteem. Occasionally (too often) I believe this statement is true.
One of my bestest friends (note lack of hesitation) and I went to the Establishment on Wednesday night for a “Australia made the World Cup party” we met 2 very handsome men and I struggled to muster a word for many minutes, I may as well been invisible, I’m watching my friend commanding the attention of these 2 guys, I felt they were oblivious to my presence, I’m playing with my gloves, softly smiling waiting for an opportunity interject with something, anything that could possibly interest/entertain them, I just don’t ‘have it’. (Maybe mother dearest is right. I don’t have interests, how can a man find me interesting)
It’s not an isolated affair, I go out with ‘the girls’ quiet regularly, our intentions are to have fun, enjoy each others company, never to ‘pick up’, not me anyway, finding a boyfriend/stumbling across a guy I would like to see more often isn’t on my priority list at the moment.
I admire the confidence my friends exude. JB is not only beautiful, she has this unbelievable eloquent manner that men just are hypnotised. R. will talk to anyone, you point at a guy across the room and a second later she’s there talking away, the guy laughing and introducing her to all his friends. V, wow this girl knows how to work it, the eye contact across the room a cheeky smile and within a few minutes the guy is gravitating towards her. Me, I get the left overs, sorry, ‘the friend’.
Once this ‘friend’ starts talking to me I immediately assume I’m ‘the friend’ of the gal he liked. Where to go from here? 5 getting to know you questions… I still won’t know anything about them after a few time wasting questions, honestly, lately I haven’t wanted to.
It’s been reported twice of late that a guy couldn’t decide which one of two us to go for? For fucks sake, what is that?
I’m starting to feel deflated, disinterested in ‘going out and meeting a guy, having that getting to know you conversation’.
I can go on a date, the interest is already established, usually the guy already knows a bit about me and I of him... I’m great one on one, I enjoy, thrive that witty repartee and I’m an active participant, get me in a group, which well face it, men hunt in packs. Reclusive introvert… I’ve been told on many occasions I come across as aloof, boys, it’s just my guard.
The getting to know you better chit chat. We have all been there at one time or another, the first encounter, that first date, those first few words spoken. It’s usually ‘the same old getting to know you’ 5 bullshit questions:
- What’s your name?
- What do you do?
- Where do you live?
- How old are you?
- Do you come here often?
Confession, I’m no good at this.
Especially the age question *mental note, confirm age* I start with my name, the polite but coy smile, slight tilt of the head and I try not to, but, the flick of my hair. Stereotypical? Yes.
Over the past few weeks I’ve met a few boys/men and I’m usually with my girlfriends, most of the time I sit back and observe, well I have no choice as the boys approach my friends before me… True story: I was out with a urmmm close friend when I was 19, MFL left me for another girl, we where at The Burdekin (when it was cool) and my urmmm close friend said to our mutual friend, ‘all the guys come up to me, when I reject them they go to N’ – lovely little nugget that one is, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, unfortunately this was said at one of my lowest points of self esteem. Occasionally (too often) I believe this statement is true.
One of my bestest friends (note lack of hesitation) and I went to the Establishment on Wednesday night for a “Australia made the World Cup party” we met 2 very handsome men and I struggled to muster a word for many minutes, I may as well been invisible, I’m watching my friend commanding the attention of these 2 guys, I felt they were oblivious to my presence, I’m playing with my gloves, softly smiling waiting for an opportunity interject with something, anything that could possibly interest/entertain them, I just don’t ‘have it’. (Maybe mother dearest is right. I don’t have interests, how can a man find me interesting)
It’s not an isolated affair, I go out with ‘the girls’ quiet regularly, our intentions are to have fun, enjoy each others company, never to ‘pick up’, not me anyway, finding a boyfriend/stumbling across a guy I would like to see more often isn’t on my priority list at the moment.
I admire the confidence my friends exude. JB is not only beautiful, she has this unbelievable eloquent manner that men just are hypnotised. R. will talk to anyone, you point at a guy across the room and a second later she’s there talking away, the guy laughing and introducing her to all his friends. V, wow this girl knows how to work it, the eye contact across the room a cheeky smile and within a few minutes the guy is gravitating towards her. Me, I get the left overs, sorry, ‘the friend’.
Once this ‘friend’ starts talking to me I immediately assume I’m ‘the friend’ of the gal he liked. Where to go from here? 5 getting to know you questions… I still won’t know anything about them after a few time wasting questions, honestly, lately I haven’t wanted to.
It’s been reported twice of late that a guy couldn’t decide which one of two us to go for? For fucks sake, what is that?
I’m starting to feel deflated, disinterested in ‘going out and meeting a guy, having that getting to know you conversation’.
I can go on a date, the interest is already established, usually the guy already knows a bit about me and I of him... I’m great one on one, I enjoy, thrive that witty repartee and I’m an active participant, get me in a group, which well face it, men hunt in packs. Reclusive introvert… I’ve been told on many occasions I come across as aloof, boys, it’s just my guard.
9 comments:
ooooooh Natalie, I have soooooo been there... to the "why the hell should I bother" place!
I know what it feels like to sort of fade of into the background ( esp. the group situation ) despite trying to make an effort. It's like there's this race going on and everyone else is just that little bit further ahead... and you can't seem to catch up.
Sometimes you just seem to go through patches like this, and your mojo comes back later and it's all good. I hope that's all this is.
I guarantee there are guys out there watching you who reckon you're perfect... and also think they are "crap at this". ;)
You do realise that there are guys out there that DONT want the extroverted member from a flock of girls?
I believe, from reading your blog, you do fine with men. Perhaps what you perceive as not controlling the "attention" is actually your own internal defenses saying, "I really do not like these guys."
Is this possible?
I don't like to make idle talk either. In fact, I'd rather not do the whole introduction, exhanging names thing. I'd rather just jump into a fascinating conversation, make some jokes and then leave to applause.
that never happens, tho.
ouch- thanks Ant!!
oh I can so identify with this post! *hugs*
Ooooooooooooooooh Thanks GB! It’s disheartening, I do have my ups and downs like everyone else, mojo where out thou?
Xcaped – the rational Nat is fully aware of that, but where are they all?
David – I REALLY hope that ‘I’m just not that into them’ is the case...
Ant – the thing is, they are not arrogant about it at all, I don’t actually believe they are aware of their own actions, I do like to sit back and observe.
Cibby – YES! I want to be able to say after hello, my name is.... ‘did you know cows have 4 stomaches’ or ‘Did you know Shakespeare invented the words "assassination" and "bump."’ I’ll avoid ‘Did you know dolplins are the only other mammals besides humans that have sex for fun’ may give the wrong impression!?!? Or the right one ;-P
Vik – you know I love you!
M – at least I know I’m not alone out there
hehe.. no worries ant ;-)
Thank you so much babe!
Love you too!
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