Emotional

I just saw him; he is now working 2 streets parallel to me. He looks good; he gives me a hug a kiss on the cheek… Why? I’m the girl he doesn’t remember. The hug is wonderful, I exhale deeply, I’m still attracted to him. I don’t want to be. I’ve fallen for his charm once before, not going to let myself do it again. I deleted his email a few weeks ago, I was strong, I didn’t even open it. He still has that affect on me. I can’t control everything. He is too close.

Bits and Pieces - week 3

+ Costanzanism/Seinfeldanism of the week… I yelled out ‘NEXT’ soup Nazi-esque when I didn’t like a property I was researching for work *evil laugh*

+ My mother called my ex-boyfriend (MFL) last night for a recipe – A RECIPE!

+ I’m with this chickie re: the Tiida

+ When a couple of my friends are purchasing their first home, they start talking to me about the process as if I don’t know, just because I haven’t purchased a property in Australia doesn’t mean I don’t know how to. What the fuck do I do for a living?!?!?! I know more than you! 2 licences! Count them! AND I have acquired multi-million dollar properties with other people’s money! Don’t talk to me like I’ a 5 year old! On the other extreme DO NOT even contemplate asking my advice on property and best loan if you are not intending to use my services – fucking bitches! (Not that I would ever work with friends or family, they don’t know that)

+ I always drive over the Sydney Harbour Bridge as apposed to going under, even if I’m on a tight schedule, I take that moment to relish this beautiful city driving over this iconic structure in this place I call home

+ I believe if a bottle of wine is not a screw top you have to consume it all in one sitting

+ I failed at this – well… my score was 56.2% given the nature of the quiz, I consider it a dismal failed effort (have a go then let me know how you go) Astrology page – hilarious, that’s my belief baby!

+ Some people are idiots - read it, really funny

+ Writing my suicide note while being subjected to:

• Norah Jones – Don’t Know Why
• James Blunt – Beautiful
• Green Day – Wake Me When September Ends
• November Rain – Guns n Roses (used to like it)
  

+ Left field conversations:

• I missed your call, yes, I didn’t call you back because it wasn’t convenient – my phone is for MY convenience. NOT yours.
• People that wear Sass and Bide are sheep!
• The ‘nice sting’ when you get “it” in your eye - overheard - YEW!
• Marriages involving 2 religions = 2 weddings! Ridicules!
• Copulatory Imperative in men…
• The first time you encountered a guy who ‘couldn’t get it up’

Sweet

Feeling tired, saddened and unmotivated - My work colleague brought me this to cheer up
Little smile...

A Night at the Ballet

Last night I attended the Preview of Graeme Murphy’s The Directors Cut. A beautiful modern ballet at the Sydney Opera House.

I'm an Opera fan, I’ve only ever seen classical ballet, this production is modern where some of the movements looked a combination of pilates/yoga, however the talent is sensational and the passion for 'what's new' for dance is inspirational and invigorating...

"We should be developing more of our own culture…creating something that is Australian in feeling – works by Australian composers and Australian choreographers that express our own culture.” Graeme Murphy

Act 1 Gossamer - erotic and pure, sexual but innocent, the dancers were superb, executing each movement with precision

Act 2 Glimpses - a modern interpretation of classical ballet, the most beautiful imagery

Act 3 CUT – could’ve been cut about 15 minutes, the choreography was sensational and passionate.

Random Quote from Mother # 3

‘Why do you have to be at work by 7:30am? I’m sure you’re not that important to the company. You do know this ‘getting up early’ inconveniences me?’

Fear

My heart felt like it skipped a beat before pounding. I tightened the grip on my bag. I know what I saw, this feeling can not be my imagination…

2 kids, teenagers in the local sandwich shop in Surry Hills, 1 kid went to the fridge removed 2 cans of drink placeing them under his jacket, the other was standing at the door, a lady left and he asked her for money, I’m aware, I glanced towards the door whilst my sandwich is being prepared, the kid was pointing towards the counter and then at his wrist, I was the only person in the shop, I felt anxiety swallow me, they both walked out, I was stunned, felt uneasy, I rang my boss and asked him to met me there, I was too frightened to walk back to the office alone.

First time I felt real fear in broad daylight…

Last Night at the Local

Absofuckinglutely fanfuckingtastic!

We got our favourite table at Our Local (there's only 4 tables, hence the prompt departure from work), close to the BIG screen but not too close, a bottle of our favourite red, my $6 steak was cooked to perfection on top of creamy mash potato, J. had a heart shaped schnitzel (so cute) we had a Wentworth Courier to peruse while waiting for the game to start and a chocolate bar on the table for dessert.

We were set for one of the biggest nights in Rugby League. Game 1. State of Origin.

This what the game is all about, the best of the best (excluding the injured) the passion, the sweat, the pub sweep, the words of encouragement shouted in the 5:1 guys to gal’s crowd, the stray ‘go the wallabies’ being shouted in paramount stages of the game… Ahhh so Aussie, yelling 'go go go' at the top of my lungs, the stress of the 16-16 draw written over our faces, watching the players up close, their thigh muscles flexing makes me quiver and the triumph, oh the triumph! Finch, called in at 9pm the night before to fill in, his performance, magnificent with the winning drop kick with 3 minutes left on the clock! Play like that for your own team everyday! Grrrrr… (yep, Roosters fan)

Sounds like the perfect night at the pub? Well, cute guy talks to J. with 10 minutes left on the game, she doesn’t talk to him. Why? We agree he was looking for some ‘post game entertainment’. I see a guy I, um, ahh almost hooked up with early October last year and didn’t turn up at our next ‘I'll meet you at the pub on Wednesday’ the polite smile was all I could muster. NEVER again will I hook up with someone from the local, inevitably bumping into him again at my home away from home...

Where was I last year? Here! Receiving text message updates from my ex-boyfriend ;-o

The Office Today

• Aiming and throwing paper out of the office window (by boss)
• I’ve been likened to Fran Drescher (by boss)
• Ate a Caramello Koala and had a coke (explanation for below)
• Was just jumping around in a circle while waiting for the photocopier to copy
• Sending emails of cute soccer players to our solicitor
• Naming one of our consultants Mr Smithers
• I did a run into my boss’s office ‘quasi-I’m a plan’ complete with arms stretched out
• I was told ‘don’t use logic’ (by boss)
• Laughing about the re-numbering of the 'thingies' in Lot 69 sub-division
• Perving on the electrician in front of my desk
• Latest conversation in the office included ‘Don’t look at the mantle piece when you’re stoking the fire’
• Not booking an appointment tonight or tomorrow due to 'sporting commitments'
• I’m planning on running out of the office at 5:00pm on-the-dot to get a table at my local to watch the State of Origin

Bits and Pieces - Week 2

As requested by Wombat, here's the second installment. (This is easier than I thought it would be)

+ No Costanzanisms this week…

+ I found out during ‘20 to 1 - Best Australian Songs’ my mother dated Stevie from the ‘Easy Beats’ she was 21, he was 19. The few dates were ‘morning tea’ HOW CUTE!

+ I ate 4 Marshmellows for breakfast today…

+ Next time I ask someone what they want to drink I want to say ‘What’s your pleasure?’ (Sky Masterton)

+ I was called pretentious! ME? Whoa! They don’t know me at all! But hey, this same person referred to ‘The Coogee Bay Hotel’ as being a "hot spot" bar – Ha! The Coogee Bay Hotel is considered pretentious?

+ My girlfriend killed a kitten ‘with love’ when she was 4 years old. She hugged it to death.

+ I have concocted an elaborate plan to ruin a real estate agents career, actually no, his life and I’m devoid of emotion.

+ I think this is hilarious! don’t judge me!

+ My dear dieting friend who was eating a cupcake said ‘It’s a present, presents don’t have calories’

+ I was asked if I would like to go to the Swannies game on Saturday night my reply ‘I would rather dust fridge magnets on a Saturday night than watch aerial ping pong’

+ I wear leopard printed Ugg boots around the house

+ Dancing around the office to:

• Walk the Dinosaur – Was (Not Was)
• Hit Me with Your Best Shot - Pat Benatar
• Uptown Girl – Billy Joel
• The Final Countdown – Europe

+ Left field conversations:

• German porn is still weird
• Australia’s bananas are being imported from Romania?!?
• The Deer Meat Market was thriving a few years back and PB was involved in the transportation – I was enthralled
• TC said she wont screw a guy because she doesn’t like his name
• What would you do if 21cm’s was coming at you? Courtesy of conversations overheard about Big Brother in the office, I couldn’t block out “did you see how big that guy’s cock is?”
• I AM NOT LIMITING MYSELF TO 160 CHARACTERS! If you want to have a conversation. Pick up the phone!
• Yea, there's a name for that. It's a Neophile. I’m not a Neophile! Can we talk about something else now? Ahhh yeah, okay, well maybe I am *blush*
  

Field of Dreams

I fell in love with a beautiful silk and lace nightie. I wanted it. Beautiful, Victorian inspired. I looked at the price – ouch! I showed mum:

You can’t spend that kind of money on a nightie; you don’t even have a man to appreciate it”

My heart sunk momentarily with the reality, I then said, as I took it off the shelf:

"If you build it, he will come."

Another Drunken / Hang Over Blur for the Weekend

My week was full of up’s and down’s. I couldn’t wait to start the weekend.

The weekend started that little bit earlier than usual, coffee with a new found friend (during working hours – gotta love the property industry). No working back on a Friday, I ran down the road for drinks at The Clock Hotel with TC, a few glasses of red, talking about PD2 antic’s, why would he say to me ‘I didn’t realise you were friends with TC!?!’ She introduced me to an absolutely gorgeous hunk of man, a stock broker – I was only saying recently that I wanted to familiarise myself with shares hmmm

After the quick interlude with TC I was off to J and C’s place for a DVD and pizza night, I LOVE hanging out with them, low maintenance friends that I can throw off my shoes and flop on the lounge without hesitation (Chis and Jo are a product of my introduction, they moved in together over Christmas/ New Year after meeting at my birthday party 2 years ago), we watched ‘Goodnight and Good luck’ thoroughly enjoyed it, highly recommend it, sensational, but not to be followed by ‘Four Brothers’ two extremes.

Saturday morning I was up bright and early, coffee, danish and a newspaper, a wonderful way to start the day. A bit of shopping with mother dearest and I went home to relax in front of the TV. I’m so used to working on a Saturday I don’t know what to do with my day. I watched ‘Lover Boy’ an old ‘80’s fav and fell asleep on the lounge – oops! BIG OOPS! I was supposed to be at a S’s birthday party part 3 that commenced at 1:00pm, 5pm I turn up! Coova! I didn’t know many people, honestly I wasn’t in the mood to mingle in new groups, I’m great one on one, introverted in large groups, the conversation steered towards a topic I’m not fond of, so just after 6 I left.

Oh what a night! Started with breaking open a bottle of pink Champagne at V & R’s, M. updated us on his escapades with his ex-girlfriend, whom called 16 times in half an hour - Ick! Back up chicky!

The girls night out, we went to Coogee Bay Hotel, drank another 3 bottles of Champers @ $13.90 a bottle – bargain! We spent most of the night hanging out with the Queensland Police Footy Team! How did I get home?

Sunday morning, actually until the afternoon I was suffering from the hang over from hell, hair of the dog? Yep, was at M & Mz BBQ surrounded by 21 year olds drinking mixer drinks in true tradition of being young and carefree. I ate and ran (felt rude in doing so) I really needed that ‘sausage sanga’.

Met J. at our local, my local since she moved from the area, but its still ‘our pub’ watched Roosters v Rabbitohs - WE WON! We have been playing so badly, I'm thrilled we beat Souths, not by much, I know we struggled to keep up, c'mon boys - work it! Another couple of Vodka’s under the belt and extremely ‘interesting’ conversation. We’ll be back there on Wednesday to watch the State of Origin with a $6 steak and a bottle of red – CAN’T WAIT! Love the simple pleasures!

I’m feeling the affects of my weekend today – more coffee please! I started my working day with a smile, pleasantly surprised by the most beautiful rose being delivered to the office, what a way to start the week.

I'll add that to my "To Do List"

It's amazing how many times I hear myself say "I'll add that to my "To Do List"". Usually 3 days later I have no idea what I thought would be so interesting. Items/events sound so appealing at the time - they are all filed away with the cob webs of my memory... Therefore. I'm adding to my "To Do List" here.

For the future - besides comeing up with a new "get rich quick scheme". I don't want to give away too much just when I'm 35 Carnivale in Venice with Julia


2006 To Do List
- Complete all things on my "To Do List" from last year

- Russian night at AB Hotel
- Dinner at Arcardi Restaurant & Lounge Bar
- Enroll in dance lessons

- Drinks at Club 1874

- The Gazebo for dinner and drinks
- Dinner at Cafe Sel et Poivre
- Dinner at Mezzaluna Potts Point
- Try the Italian Bowl in Newtown - DONE
- Drinks at Orbit Bar
- Drinks at Senate Bar

- GO to the Bravo Opera exhibition
- Dinner at a'Mews
- Dinner and drinks at The Sydney Boulevarde
- Drinks at Marble Bar - DONE
- Watch a movie at Govindas - DONE
- Try Beppis

- I'm at eastern surburbs local and I've never been to Catalina Rose Bay its an eastern suburbs institution (I should be ashamed)

- Fun night out at The Mean Fiddler
- Evening cocktail at The Vanilla Room Leichardt - DONE
- Go for drinks at The Olympic Hotel followed by dinner at Bistro Moore - DONE
- With complements, chickybabe. Resaurant Assiette for dinner.
- With complements, Julia. Cocktails at The Sugaroom _Restaurant_Bar_Lounge
- With complements, Cibbuano. Fantastic tiramisu: Buon Gusto, 368 Abercrombie. As my lunch friend described: It's Redfern backwaters...A great plate of pasta, great tiramisu. If I had enough lira, I'd go all out and have a whole fish.How do I know it's good? Old Italian men go there for lunch, devouring big plates of food and drinking wine...

- Breakfast at Ganache Patisserie


2005 To Do List
- Have dinner at FireFly
- Go to either Symphony in the Domain or Jazz in the Domain - DONE
- Dinner at Restaurant Balzac
- Enrol in boxing class
- Dinner at Chez Rene - DONE
- Go to The Fringe Bar Comedy night - DONE
- Go to The Basement
- Buy killer Christmas presents for family - DONE
- Find new job - DONE
- Try Equilibrium Bar at world Square - DONE
- Arrange a Sunday afternoon drinking spot with friends
- Go to Bronte Beach for Brunch
- Dinner at a 5 star restaurant (not just for seafood chowder - how lovely the night was!)
- Have a night out at Statement Lounge - DONE
- Go for a walk around the Rocks markets
- Good food month is here! Must try Cocktails and Canapes - NEXT YEAR
- Places to go - ruins around the world
- Explore the bars and pubs on the North of Sydney - IN PROGRESS
- Try more local pubs
- Book a ticket to see Lucy's performance on the 24th September - MISSED IT
- Must try that ripples cafe near Luna Park for breakfast
- Actually go to some of the bars that hold "Happy Hour"
- Try out a new Trivia Night
- Visit some of these restaurants and cafe's 50-foodie-things-to-do-in-Sydney


Any recommendations and / or reviews are more than welcome

(I'm a Sydney-Sider remember)

Today...

It is his Birthday today.

He has been on my mind too often.

I did it to myself and I’m fully aware. I sent him a link to a little quiz I made up a couple weeks ago “How well do you know N?”

No. Thinking about him started before that, my friend S, totally left field asked me a couple weeks ago if I missed him. It’s absurd, we broke up over 3.5 years ago and I had another boyfriend after that for almost 2 years, why would S. ask about him specifically?

I told my mother about it, she asked if I there was a possibility would I get back with him. Only if…

I sent the email to him; we haven’t spoken to each other since March last year. Why did I send it? I wanted to be on his mind. Why did I want him to be thinking about me? Because my heart is still….

This is the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, the only man that has ever been able to get under my skin, the man that can make me speechless with one look, melt by his smile, the only man I have ever considered having ‘his children’ (granted, the thought only lasted 30 seconds, very good for me). I was with him just shy of 4 years.

I know him so well; I know that he would’ve been thinking about me for the next week, consequently, my thoughts have been focused on him.

Last time we saw each other was at Star City Casino, he said ‘hi’ then our energy became one and were kissing in the foyer of the Casino, (think Buffy & Spike) the passion between us has always left me light headed, yearning for more, time past, a lot of time past… I felt the chemistry running through my veins; passion was probably our best point.

We talked in a relaxed manner, what we seldom did in the past, the fall down in what was ‘our relationship’.

He told me that night he had a girlfriend; they had been seeing each other for a few months. I teased him ‘A 26 year old real estate agent? Trying to replace me, hey?’ He said I could never be replaced, I’m his dream. He called me his little 930 - one of the Porsches he owed, the one he was driving the night we met, his favourite, yellow, temperamental like most rebuilt late 1970’s Porsches, when ever he left the car on the street it would have hand and nose prints on the windows – he said it was like men with me, when out alone.*

I was drunkity drunk drunk that night. Our conversation still plays over in my head, the ‘what could have been?’ ‘Why?’ My tears. His tears. He gave me a ride home in his Bentley Turbo R, the car he said he would always buy ‘for us’ for when we start ‘our family’.

Being his Birthday looming in the foreseeable future, I knew that’s why I’ve been thinking about him.

Now, do I send an e-card for his birthday, knowing I’m the stronger one emotionally (easily misconstrued malicious?) or continue to sit back and ponder ‘what could have been?’


*Major issue in relationship

UPDATE: I sent him this e-card with a little 'Happy Birthday, Love N'

Temptation...

That's it

Strength

It astounds me how I can be chatting to a friend frequently and unaware of the events in her life… I found out that CC left her husband; she had never let on her discontent. Her husband became violent when she said she was no longer happy. CC left in the middle of the day while her husband was at work, took her 2 dogs and hasn’t gone back. *hugs*

I Want One NOW!

All I want to do is get behind the wheel of one of these beauties and Fang (Juan-Manuel Fangio) it around for a few hours.

I miss that '95 Porsche 993 red convertible :-(

When Will this Day be Over?

+ I’ve had an angry outburst at 3 consultants
+ Sent a rude email to a Councillor
+ Sent another rude email to a Councillor in a different municipality
+ Sent an ‘urgent’ email to a town planner and CC’ed his superior
+ Told a contractor their work isn’t good enough
+ Threatened a telecommunications contractor that I will approach the Ombudsman, his incompetence is costing us a huge amount of money
+ Its after lunch and after my sleepless night, I look like a drag queen as predicted
+ Asked a joint venture partner to ‘follow up’ on a job for the 3rd time
+ I’m out of sync with one of my best friends
+ Told a valuer that I’m going to be at his office tomorrow to pick up a document that he was supposed to have completed a month ago
+ I have 4 folders of OSR value assessments for objection
+ Demanded an ‘end date’ for boring through rock - know the density before you dig!
+ Real Estate agents are a fucking waste of time
+ 5 people have been working on the same ‘project’ since my commencement - now it’s back to the original idea
+ Only 1 contractor has returned my call
+ I had a lesson on bore installation and was spoken to like a 4 year old
+ Why do government agencies only accept calls during 8:00am – 10:00am
+ Spent an hour on a teleconference listening to 3 engineers and 2 landscape architects discussing the same issues that were addressed 3 months ago – calculate that hourly rate!
+ Blasted a council worker because she took over a week to give me a 1 page confirmation of a properties zoning – put it on the internet!
+ I’m longing to have a drink, I’m hoping it will be a low maintenance event. Advance apology?

Death Warmed Up

I had the worst night sleep. Tossing and turning, throwing blankets on and off, I got out of bed about 2.30am after 40 minutes or so of whiling myself back to sleep, turned the light on grabbed the new book I had started reading earlier, after the second attempt of reading the same (first) page 6 times and still not concentrating on the story, I put it down…. There I was, in bed, light on, starring at the ceiling.

Frustrated. I started thinking about the direction my life has taken over the last year and a half, I haven’t achieved what I set out to achieve, they say there are 3 things we always require/lust for in our lives, a job you enjoy, a roof over your head and someone special to share it with – 1 out of 3 ain’t to bad I’ve told myself lately... I need to expedite a new home, I feel I’m not just compromising for my situation any longer, I’m compromising my life. Once 2 out of 3 is obtained I’m assuming someone will come along and share the inevitable joy with me…

I turned the light off, after what felt like hours I feel back asleep, I woke at my usual 7.20am stayed in bed until 8.00am. Getting dressed would best be described as looking for anything that didn’t require ironing. I put make-up on trying to hide my dark eyes, I look like death, I know I’ve overcompensated, by midday I’ll look like the local drag queen.

More coffee...

Evolution of Dance

I laughed and laughed and laughed!

The Evolution of Dance

The irony! I was dancing around the office to 2 of these songs on Friday afternoon!

C'mon tell me you haven't displayed a few of these moves on the dance floor ;-)

I LOVE the English Language

Words I need to blend into my everyday vocabulary:

Ø Snookums
Ø Quixotic
Ø Kerfuffle
Ø Nincompoop
Ø Persnickety
Ø Rigamarole
Ø Cantankerous
Ø Tomfoolery
Ø Gobbledygook
Ø Pizzazz
Ø Calaboose
Ø Shenanigans
Ø Bamboozle
Ø Come-uppance
Ø Mollycoddle
Ø Balderdash
Ø Totalitarianism
Ø Fiddle-Faddle

Feel free to add some new ones

The Oscar goes to….

Miss N for her outstanding performance in ‘Mother’s Day Lunch on Sunday’

The First Kiss…

Last week I read 2 posts on ‘the kiss’ Indy so perfectly eloquent embraced the emotion and Wombat’s step by step guide was just perfection.

As expected with almost anything in life, when a subject is on the mind everything you see or watch relates.

Over the weekend I watched an episode of Sex and the City, where Charlotte say’s ‘he raped my face’. The episode delves deeper; does a bad kiss mean the guy is going to bad in bed? Is a bad kiss a ‘deal breaker’?

As for my description, I think Elvis say’s it best…

"Such A Night"

It was a night oo-oo what a night
It was it really was such a night
The moon was bright oh how so bright
It was it really was such a night
The night was alight with stars above
Oo-oo when she kissed me
I had to fall in love

Oh it was a kiss oo-oo what a kiss
It was it really was such a kiss
Oh how she could kiss oh what a kiss
It was it really was such a kiss
Just the thought of her lips
Sets me afire
I reminisce and I'm filled with desire
But I'd gave my heart to her in sweet surrender
How well I remember, I'll always remember

Oh, what a night oo-oo what a night
It was it really was such a night
Came the dawn and my heart and her love
And the night was gone
But I'll never forget the kiss
The kiss in the moonlight
Oo-oo such a kiss, such a night

It was a night oo-oo what a night
It was it really was such a night
Came the dawn and my heart and her love
And the night was gone
But I'll never forget the kiss
The kiss in the moonlight
How well I remember, I'll always remember

That night oo-oo what a night
It was it really was such a night
When we kissed I had to fall in love
But I'd gave my heart to her in sweet surrender
How well I remember, I'll always remember

Oh that night oo-oo what a night
It was it really was such a night
When we kissed I had to fall in love
Well she's gone, gone, gone
Yes she's gone, gone, gone
Came the dawn, dawn, dawn
And my love was gone
But before that dawn
Yes before that dawn and before that dawn
Oo-oo, oo-oo, oo-oo, oo-oo, oo-oo
Such a night

Commitments

I have ‘Commitments’ I love the word commitments, more often than not I'm not quizzed for extra information. I’ve used it rather frequently of late. It’s convenient when I don’t want to disclose my plans for a specific time or event for whatever purpose, but lately it's been used to 'save face'.


Would you like to go out for dinner Wednesday night?

I have commitments.
Translation: I want to go home and watch Prison Break.


Are you free on Monday for a drink?

I have commitments.
Translation: You really think I’m going to have energy to go out on a Monday night? You got to be kidding. I want to go home and put my PJ’s on and watch Tele.


Do you want to come to a surprise dinner for my girlfriend on Saturday night?

I have commitments.
Translation: I’m going to Snoop Doggy Dogg and I really don’t want to be judged.


There’s a charity dinner Saturday I’m involved with, do you want to come and support the cause?

I have commitments.
Translation: No buddy, $380 per head for dinner! Not happening on my budget.


Do you want to join me for a coffee later tonight?

I have commitments.
Translation: I’m planning on giving myself a manicure/pedicure tonight.

Married Dr Suess Way

Pastor: Will you answer me right now
These questions, as your wedding vow?

Groom: Yes, I will answer right now
Your questions as my wedding vow
Groom: Yes, I will have, and I will hold,
Just as I have at this time told,
Yes, I will love her all my life
As I now take her as my wife.

Pastor: Will you love through good and bad?
Whether you're happy or sad?

Groom: Yes, I'll love through good and bad,
Whether we're happy or sad,
Yes, I will have and I will hold
Just as I have already told,
Yes, I will love her all my life,
Yes, I will take her as my wife!

Pastor: Will you love her if you're rich?
Or if you're poor, and in a ditch?

Groom: Yes, I'll love her if we're rich,
And I will love her in a ditch,
I'll love her through good times and bad,
Whether we are happy or sad,
Yes, I will have, and I will hold
(I could have sworn this has been told!)
I promise to love all my life
This woman, as my lawful wife!

Pastor: Will you love her when you're fit,
And also when you're feeling sick?

Groom: Yes, I'll love her when we're fit,
And when we're hurt, and when we're sick,
And I will love her when we're rich
And I will love her in a ditch
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold
Ten years from now a thousandfold,
Yes, I will love for my whole life
This lovely woman as my wife!

Pastor: Will you love with all your heart?
Will you love till death you part?

Groom: Yes, I'll love with all my heart
From now until death do us part,
And I will love her when we're rich,
And when we're broke and in a ditch,
And when we're fit, and when we're sick,
(Oh, CAN'T we get this finished quick?)
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold,
And if I might now be so bold,
I'll love her my entire life,
Yes, I WILL take her as my wife!

Pastor: Then if you'll take her as your wife,
And if you'll love her all your life,
And if you'll have, and if you'll hold,
From now until the stars grow cold,
And if you'll love through good and bad,
And whether you're happy or sad,
And love in sickness, and in health,
And when you're poor, and when in wealth,
And if you'll love with all your heart,
From now until death do you part,
Yes, if you'll love her through and through,
Please answer with these words:

Pastor and Groom: I DO!

Pastor: You're married now! So kiss the bride,
But please, do keep it dignified.

Recent Reflections…

+ Why didn't I follow my gut instinct?
+ Why did I feel the way I did on Friday night when a boy didn’t show interest in me?
+ Why do I let my mothers ranting influence my mood?
+ Why did I need my mother’s comments to be confirmed as irrational?
+ Why did I crave attention on Saturday night?
+ Why did I require acceptance over the weekend?
+ Why was it I felt like I needed a man to have interest in me over the weekend to qualify any self worth?
+ Why did it take me this long to realise it’s all superfluous?

The Perfect Woman...

A lady who is deliciously beautiful, wicked, manipulative, complex, vulnerable, witty, untamed, and absolutely ravishing.

A woman to be simultaneously despised and desired. Bathed in the most gorgeous light, making her glow and shimmer.

A woman who can drive men wild by performing a striptease in which she removes only one long black glove.

This day a year ago...

Do you remember where you were? What you were doing? Who you were with this day 1 year ago?

I was in Vancouver. The flight into the city over the Rockies was absolutely beautiful, I'm longing to go back there and explore further. I only had 3 days in the spectacular picturesque city, and being the want-to-be wine connoisseur I was adamant to try a wine from every state, I highly recommend Canadian wine ;-)

Visited:
- Stanley Park, saw the totem poles
- Granville Island
- Commercial District
- Art Gallery
- Vancouver Marina

Next stop Czech Republic!

Random Quote from Mother # 2

You can't expect a man to be interested in you, you don't have any interests

Love Today

Lets Stay Together Al Green(On The Line)

I'm, I'm so in love with you
Whatever you want to do
Is alright with me
'Cause you make me feel, so brand new
And I want to spend my life with you

Me sayin' since, baby, since we've been together
Ooo, loving you forever
Is what I need
Let me, be the one you come running to
I'll never be untrue
Ooo baby

Let's, let's stay together
Loving you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad

Oooo oooo ooo ooo, yeah
Whether times are good or bad, happy or sad

Why somebody, why people break up
Oh, and turn around and make up
I just can't seeeeeeeee
You'd never do that to me
(Would you baby)
'Cause being around you is all I see
It's why I want us to

Let's, let's stay together
Loving you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad

Let's, let's stay together
Loving you whether, whether

AFTER THE LOVE HAS GONE - Earth Wind And Fire

For awhile to love was all we could do
we were young and we knew
and our eyes were alive
Deep inside we knew our love was true
For awhile we paid no mind to the past
we knew love would last
Ev'ry night somethin' right
would invite us to begin the dance

Somethin' happened along the way
what used to be happy was sad
Somethin' happened along the way
and yesterday was all we had
And oh after the love has gone
how could you lead me on
and not let me stay around
Oh oh oh afterthe love has gone
what used to be right is wrong
Can love that's lost be found

For awhile to love each other with aw
we would ever need
Love was strong for so long
never knew that what was
wrong oh baby wasn't right
We tried to find what we had
till sadness was all we shared
We were scared this affair would lead our love into
Somethin' happened along the way
yesterday was all we had
Somethin' happened along the way
what used to be happy is sad

Somethin' happened along the way
oh yesterday was all we had
And oh after the love has gone
how could you lead me on
and not let me stay around
Oh oh oh after the love has gone
what used to be right is wrong
Can love that's lost be found

Oh oh oh oh oh oh after the love has gone
what used to be right is wrong
Can love that's lost be found
Oh woh woh after the love has gone
what used to be right is wrong
Can love that's lost be found

Oh woh woh after the love has gone
what used to be right is wrong
Can love that's lost be found
Oh woh woh
Oh woh woh after the love has gone
what used to be right is wrong
Can love that's lost be found

Woh woh woh after the love has gone
what used to be right is wrong
Can love that's lost be found
Woh woh woh

Lunch at the Pub

It’s a beautiful sunny Friday afternoon in Sydney, my dear friend and former employer took me out to lunch to Forresters across the road.

We’ve known each other since 2001 when we first started working together and when he started his own business I was over the moon when he asked me to join him for the ride.

He has now become one of my nearest and dearest friends, he was the one that held my hand through the whole health issue, he was the one whom took me to and from the hospital, he is the one I call for any advise either business or personal, I’m absolutely thrilled to have him in my life.

For the first time in our relationship history I had the desire to kiss him.

It was the “hello kiss” I can’t blame alcohol and current state of horniness. I must take a little time to reflect on this one.

Delete

I received an email today, this was no ordinary email, it was from a guy that emotionally screwed me. I saw his name, I didn't open the email, I pressed delete.

A Call

Me: Standard office greeting
Client: Is this overseas?
Me: I don't know if this is overseas, where are you located?

Phone Crush

We’ve been talking for the last few months, his voice so sexy, always friendly and extremely helpful. Our conversations were predominantly business, with the frequency of our calls the proportion of social/personal increased.

I built an image in my mind of what this ex-country boy, Saturday touch footy playing, CBD business man would look like solely based on his voice, past and interests. I developed a phone crush, I looked forward to the calls, I would ring as opposed to sending a quick 1 line email.

He came into the office last week for a meeting, it’s always nice to see the people your dealing with face to face, isn’t it? I was secretly excited (it wasn’t too secretive 2 of my colleagues were aware of the crush). I saw him, the crush vanished immediately, he looked like a younger Seymour Phillip Hoffman (not my cup of tea) I was disappointed, all I built up was wrong.

He called the office this morning and nothing, no polite exchanges or banter, just business…

How did I let myself become indulged in such frivolous flirtations with a man I hadn’t met?

Crunch

I’m driving my usual route to work I put in my newest CD, The Best of Earth Wind and Fire, singing along happily. I admire the car next to me at the set of lights lining up to Sid Enfield Drive, a beautiful silver Honda s2000, sparkling clean, perfectly balanced, low profile tyres 20” wheels, must have been at least a 3.5” exhaust, slightly tinted windows and the base from his stereo made my car shudder, I check out the driver, he winks, I smile slyly while I flip my switch into high boost. The light turns green and we’re off… I slam into second and my car jerks, damn my new shoes and not wanting to scuff the suede! Our cars side by side, I throw the gear into third a second later I hear a huge CRUNCH followed by a whirl of an engine – he missed the gear. Ha! I cruise down to the next set of lights look over with a twinkle in my eye, there he was sinking into his seat not looking over.

My number...?

Found Via Paul Sadowski

The Life Path 9 suggests that you entered this plane with an abundance of dramatic feelings coupled with a strong sense of compassion and generosity. The key to the nature of a Life Path number 9 person is found in their humanitarian attitude. Even the very average of those with life path 9 possess extremely compassionate tendencies.

Usually this number produces an individual that is very trustworthy and honorable, and one unlikely to harbor any sort of prejudice. Obviously, this is a rather tall order, but you are, in fact, a person that feels very deeply for individuals less fortunate than yourself, and if you are in a position to help, you certainly will. The 9, being the highest of the single digit numbers, holds an elevated position in terms of responsibilities to mankind.

Material gains are not overly important, although the quality of some life path 9 people is such that they are materially rewarded in very significant ways. In this, however, the 9 Life Path is not apt to get rich since they are very generous, sometimes to a fault, and usually have an easy come, easy go attitude about money. The rare 9 life path has a totally selfless attitude, giving up of material possessions for the common good.

The 9 Life Path indicates you have a commanding presence. You have the ability to make friends very easily, as people are attracted to your magnetic, open personality. The term "hail-fellow" may have been coined to describe a 9 Life Path, as you may indeed be one of those who is generally upbeat and heartily friendly and congenial. You meet people easily and are quickly befriended because of your openness and amiable demeanor. Your genial ways often put you in the lead in whatever field of endeavor you pursue.

Relationships can be difficult for you because it is hard to strike a balance that will work effectively. If your partner is one sharing your giving attitudes, the relationship will be happy and lasting. On the other hand, if you choose a partner whose focus is on material issues, problems will arise quickly.

You tend to be quite sensitive, as you see the world with much feeling. The number 9's very deep understanding of life is sometimes manifested in the artistic and literary fields. If drama and acting is not your forte, it will surely be an area of great interest and potential. Likewise, you may be able to express your deep emotional feelings through painting, writing, music, or other art forms.

The purpose of life for those with a 9 life path is often of a philosophical nature. Judges, spiritual leaders, healers and educators frequently have much 9 energy. The number is less inclined to the competitive business environment and may find this a struggle.

As do all the life path numbers, the 9 has its negative side. Because of the demanding nature of the truly positive 9, many tend to fail in this category. It is not uncommon for persons with the 9 life path to fight the realities and challenges of purpose imposed here because selflessness is not an easy trait. You may have difficulty believing that giving and a lack of personal ambition can be satisfying. It must be realized and accepted that little long-term satisfaction and happiness is to be gained by rejecting the natural humanitarian inclinations of this path.

Ageism

Is age a state of mind or does one need to be in a good state of mind to affiliate with one of another age?

Saturday night I was invited to my ex-protégé’s 21st birthday celebrations, I was feeling disheartened, drained. I called and said I was staying in... I put my trackie daks on the moment I got home from my big day gallivanting about in absurdly high heels and sheer designer outfits (complements MAFW).

I had resigned myself to staying in possibly watching a DVD that doesn’t contain the words ‘wedding’ or ‘marriage’ maybe lay on my bed and finish my book with a glass of red in my hand…

My mobile rings and I see 'the old guy's' name flashing – effort. I answer in the most cheery disposition I could muster. He gave me a ‘sales pitch’ packaged up the evening in a way no girl could resist.

He picked me up in his late model 3 series BMW, we had dinner at Sea Cow, he brought along with him a bottle of Moët & Chandon Rosé (who knew Moët made Brut Rosé), it wasn’t before long he started talking business, he calls himself a ‘property broker’ I don’t want to be petty but, property broker, WTF? He asked if I wouldn’t mind looking at his proposed property acquisition summary, I hold back rolling my eyes and said ‘hand it over’, I love my work, property is what I know and I wouldn’t EVER call myself a broker, it borders on a sick hobby (every time I go away either domestic or international, I’m looking at real estate office windows). He then say’s ‘I didn’t ask you to dinner to look over a deal, you have to believe me. You believe me don’t you?’ Why can’t I let situations like this slide? ‘I don’t know you. I can’t say if I believe you?’

The only reason I date men approximately 20 years older than me is for exposure to their life experiences and knowledge with the hope I could learn from them, I can’t continue to date this man, I knew more about his car spec’s then he did, I advised the best approach to purchase a $9,000,000 property (also pointed out flaws in his feasibility) and I fixed his stereo system, what would he contribute to the relationship?

* No judgement please, if I were interested, if there was any chemistry these little issues would be overlooked.

Mercedes Australian Fashion Week Favourites

I attended my first major fashion show on Saturday afternoon at The Overseas Passenger Terminal, the gal's and guy's were dressed in their best barely taking advantage of the freebie nibbles.

It was dark and stark inside until the fantastic music started playing and the girls strutted their stuff down the run way; The collections were marvelous and the productions spectacular, 4 designers were on show for the afternoon, my picks... Ohhh not too expensive. I'll add them to my 'want' list.

Preacher

Pani

Doh!

I was sent to one of my ultimate favourite stores Borders to some wedding / bridal magazine's, my mother is doing a celebrants course in the hope of lining up some cash in her retirement.

So, there I was looking through 'Brides Bible', 'Modern Bride' and 'Elegant Bride Magazine' with shrewd cynicism, and holding back giggles with such articles 'Now you have the ring, how to hold onto your man' and 'How to make your wedding day the best day of your life'... I see a handsome man flipping through 'Gourmet Traveller' we catch each others eyes, my smirk turns to smile, the flirtatious exchange continued as per page flick.

He places a couple of magazines back in the rack, smiles as he walks towards me (otherwise known as the way out of the section) and takes a glance at my pile of mag's splayed across the floor in front of me, the look of disgust across his face, I was take aback, if looks could kill... I looked away feeling totally rebuffed, then my eyes followed him as he walked to the front of the store. I glanced down, Wedding magazines surrounding me...